The wedding night is the best and the brightest night in the life of any man or woman. Before the marriage, it is all a desert. Beyond the marriage, it is all a sea. If you do not make the most of your honeymoon, you will regret it for ever. Too often marriage, under the compulsion of customs, begins as a sort of nightmare in your country. Joys of a happy married life arc gone before we have known them. We do not see them flying in. We only see them flying out. Therefore, if you want to make the best of your life, you must understand your responsibilities on the wedding night.
Bride's Duty
"The woman, to be successful during precoital play, must use her body clearly. The lying down ,position which she may later adopt for the commencement of sexual union is not seductive, and before the sexual organs are joined, she should not be afraid to move about and exhibit herself. By climbing over her husband as she kisses him, she will afford him a new and pleasing view of her breasts. Few women realize that in addition to the genital kiss which can be given in such a manner that the husband obtains glimpses of her hips-always centres of sexual attraction-most men love to have their chest and abdomen caressed and kissed. A woman can also gently turn her husband over and kiss
him up and down the spine. Playful smacks and love bites also act as a stimulus to amorous desires."
Bridegroom's Duty
With marriage starts a wonderful phase of a couple's life. The wedding night presents the first glorious occasion for their blissful sexual intercourse. The fate of a marriage depends on the manner in which the bridegroom and the bride harmonize their feelings and actions on the wedding night.
The man will find that his wife can be roused by kisses on her breasts and nipples. These should begin by gently brushing and then become deeper. His fingers should gently stimulate the clitoris and vulva until he longs for a sexual intercourse. The genital kiss is one of the best means of stimulation. This can be made into a caressing movement of the tongue. This can be prolonged for several minutes until the woman is thoroughly excited.
It is believed that if the husband wins his wife on the wedding night, he wins her forever. On the other hand, any false steps taken on this occasion are considered to make in her heart such wounds as will never heal.
It is, therefore. necessary for the husband to make a very careful and planned approach on this night. Before she can be expected to have physical love for her husband she must have trust and confidence in him. Hence, the husband has to seduce his wife with delicacy and consideration in order to create in her respect and affection for himself. Physical love will then automatically grow and develop with time. The men should, in no case, make haste to quench his thirst of sexual passion on this night.
Bride's Recoil
Although the normal young girl dreams of and anticipates the pleasures of sexual relations, when it comes to actual experience for the first time, some psychological feelings, her cultural and natural modesty make her very sensitive and she usually has an instinctive recoil from her first sexual act. This recoil is to be accounted for by the fact that the wedding night make the beginning of a decisive stage in a woman's life. The hymen which is mostly considered the physical symbol of 'purity' is not the only thing which distinguishes a virgin from a women who has had sexual experience. No doubt, there is some fear of physical pain because of the presence of hymen, but the more important and real reason for the recoil is the anticipation of the perforation of her maidenhood. This fear springs from deeper sources and has a greater significance than the mere anticipation -being slightly hurt physically. The marriage does not give the man the right to do as he chooses, if the bride's modesty and instinctive resistance raise obstacles that are too great for him to seduce her, the consummation of marriage had better be postponed for a night or two. There are, of course, some cases there the girl has very high sexual passions and she is as anxious and eager to receive as the husband is to give. In such cases, everything goes on smoothly on the wedding night. But, such cases should be taken as exceptions and nut the rule.
Arousing More Passion
Gentle persuasion is very necessary and a women, even which surrendering, wishes to some extent to be conquered. The man. having made it clear, to his young wife in every way that he is most considerate of her feelings, should proceed with great tact and understanding to stir and arouse sexual passion in her. This he should begin with ardent and passionate embraces and kisses and indulge in the love play, ie, caressing of erotogenic zones, including the vulva and clitoris as descried in the previous chapter. It may, however, again be emphasized here that the husband should not make haste to quence the thirst of his sexual excitement straightway, when the woman's passion has not been aroused. As already mentioned, he must remember that the 'woman is not as easily aroused sexually as the man. He should think of penetration of his organ in the vagina only 'when he is satisfied that the woman is fully prepared for the sexual act. The characteristics which indicate the woman's preparedness for the sexual union have been mentioned in the previous chapter. The husband should, therefore, proceed in a very skilful manner to initiate sexual union on the wedding night.
The Defloration of Hymen
It has already been explained that the presence of hymen should not be considered as a proof of the virginity of a girl. In cases where the hymen is present, it is usually ruptured at the time of first entry or penis in the vagina. As a great pain is felt by the girl at the time, the husband should nod insert his organ with great force. It is better to tell her about this pain beforehand so that she may keep herself prepared for it. It is advisable to apply some lubricating substance like vaseline to male organ before penetration. If the hymen is soft and weak, it gets ruptured with a light thrust of penis and the pain is tolerable and soon forgotten. But in ease where the membrane is very tense and strong the wife gets immense pain. The husband should in such cases, exercise extreme care and slowly increase the pressure or his movements till the hymen is ruptured. He should at the same time keep her busy in talk by using very soothing words of love and devotion. If there is some bleeding, it should not be worried about. The bleeding is natural and the wound gets healed up by itself. If, however. the defloration of he men does not take place in spite of well executed repeated attempts, medical aid should he sought and the work entrusted to an experienced lady surgeon. The lady surgeon wi1l remove the membrane by means of an operation which is quite simple and painless. Such cases are, no doubt, very rare. It may again he impressed upon the young husband that he should not make the first penetration with brutal force as this produces not only immense pain but is also likely to cause severe hemorrhage. This may also induce considerable shock and lead to other psychological1y harmful consequences. .
