SEXUAL ATTRACTION

Do not whip up your desire in unnatural ways. This is both foolish and dangerous. Think more of your health, home and happi­ness than mere sexual gratification. If you are H woman, your beauty is a short lived thing and will fade away like flowers after a while. If you are a man, your health is a thin thread by which your entire future hangs. Maintain strict cleanliness in your sexual rela­tions. Thus says the Bible:

"And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be clean until the evening. And every garment, and every skin, wherein is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be clean until the evening."

Repression

Endangers Health

If you are not a yogi and cannot. practice self control, any willful and continuous repression of the sex urge will endanger your health and will have a particularly deleterious effect on your nerves as it is now universally recognized by neurologists that human psyche reacts to every repression of sexual desire with neurotic symptoms.

Sexual Impotence

The functional disorder of hasty ejaculation is not a proof of impotence. This is a per­fectly normal phenomenon and does not , how illness. There may be a temporary psycho­logical impotence, but it must not be considered seriously and is easily curable. A very tight foreskin may mechanically restrict erection. Certain illnesses, such as mumps, may also temporarily restrict potency. Accor­ding to Stekel, fear is often the cause of premature ejaculation. Or, as Havelock Ellis puts it, sexual impotence may be due to incomplete social adaptation. The pheno­menon of sexual incompetence or sexual inadequacy, also called sexual impotence, is thus largely psychological. Men with large male organs are not necessarily virile or highly-sexed. Organ size varies from man to man just like other parts of the body.

Psychological impotence or disturbances of efficient sexual functioning. can be easily treated through psychiatric care and guidance. The man himself can overcome these inade­quacies by carefully analysing the emotional or psychological causes and then consciously attempting to raise his potential. But sexual impotence may also be the result of certain constitutional disorders like hormone deficiencies, local disorders of the sex organs or other constitutional factors which lead to a diminution of his sexual desire and com­petence. These disabilities are by no means incurable in most cases. Hormones and vitamins, local treatment of the genital tract and other forms of medical treatment should prove quite effective. Competent medical advice should be sought to remedy the defects.

In any case, the problem of hasty or rapid ejaculation should not cause undue alarm. In most cases, the man suffering from this defect can remedy it through training and control. If he learns to be passive and active intermittent in the sexual act, it should be possible to delay ejaculation. Here are some of the other methods by which sexual com­petence can be considerably increased.

Fresh Air, Exercise and Deep Breathing

As everyone knows, fresh air contains a large quantity of oxygen which is capable of purifying and enriching blood. It also helps in elimination of wastes. One must, there­fore, keep the doors, windows and ventilators of the house wide open to allow as much fresh air as possible to come in. Besides, one must spend some time in the morning and evening in open air, away from the crowded parts of the own, that is, in parks, fields or other places where there are no or very few buildings. If one cannot afford to 80 out in the open places both in the morning and evening. one n1ust do so at least once every day preferably in the morning. in the open air, one should practice deep breathing­ inhaling as much fresh air as possible, keeping it in the lungs for a few moments, i.e., as long as conveniently possible and then exhaling the air slowly. One should also take some light exercise in the open air daily. Muscular exercise taken in fresh air replaces the. old worn out tissues of the body by fresh vigorous ones. If one does not take any exercise, one must have a brisk walk for- an hour in the open air. Thereafter. one should remain in as much free and open air as possible during the whole day. If one follows these instruc­tions regularly, there will be a great change in his or her health-the digestive power will improve-fresh. pure and red blood will be formed and sexual vigour will also increase. Pregnant women should not have brisk walks and exercise. They must, however, spend as much time as possible in the open fresh air.

Massage and Cold Water Bath

Before taking the bath, the body should be massaged vigorously with the vegetable oil one is used to. In case no vegetable oil is used, every part of the body should be rubbed thoroughly with dry hands. This should be done for fifteen to twenty minutes daily. This increases the circulation of blood and makes the skin healthy and lustrous and keeps it free from pimples and eruptions. After massage and rubbing, one should fake rest for a few minutes and then have a cold water bath.' Cold water bath is very good for toning up the body and has an invigorating effect. It also increases the retentive power of the man and the power of resistance against disease. While taking hath. every part of the body should be well rubbed with hands. . Thereafter the body should be dried by using a moderately coarse towel briskly. One should also have sun baths and. warm water baths occasionally.

Diet

It will be admitted that the diet one takes and the manner in which one takes it go a long way in making or marring ones general and sexual health. One must, therefore. be very careful about the diet. Firstly, the diet must be chewed and masticated thoroughly as the stomach has no teeth. Secondly, one must have it at regular intervals Thirdly over-eating should always be avoided" how­ever tasteful the dishes may be. Fourthly, perfect diet, i.e., such diet as contains. proteins, starches, fat, vitamins and mineral salts should be taken in plenty. Milk, butter, pure ghee, fresh fruits and vegetables, honey, cereals, pulses, nuts, eggs, fish and meat of certain birds are all nutritious eatables and increase strength vitality and sexual powers. These produce healthy semen and should be used in good quantities. On the other hand. highly spiced food, chillies, tamarind sweets, pastries, chocolates, cakes. biscuits, jams, sauces, vinegar, etc.. should be used very sparingly as these may not only lead to dis­orders in the digestive and circulatory systems but also weaken the semen. Alcohol, tea, coffee, cocoa, etc., are also harmful to general and sexual health. Their excessive use may temporarily, but it has disastrous effects of the sexual powers in the long run. Efforts should, therefore be made to stop the use of alcohol, tea, coffee, etc., but if it is found difficult to abstain from them totally, their use must be minimized as much as possible, One should take plenty of water, say, eight to ten glasses every day. Constipation, which leads to many other physical trouble, should be cured as soon as it occurs.

Smoking

Like alcohol, tea and coffee, smoking also causes sexual weakness. It also affects the nervous system. Tobacco contains nicotine, which in its pure form is a very strong poison. If one or two drops of pure nicotine are put on the cat it will die at once. In China people had been committing suicide by taking very old chukka' water. While smoking cigarettes, cigars, etc., one gets extremely small amount of nicotine and thus, though there is no im­mediate effect, the system is poisoned gradual­ly. Smoking has a bad effect on the digestive respiratory and sexual systems and it also weakens the teeth and eyesight. .It is, there. fore, very necessary that the use of tobacco should be reduced, unless it can be given up altogether.

Sleep

It is very necessary that one should have sound sleep for eight to ten hours every day. This restores the energy used while awake and also acts as a very good tonic for the nervous system . One should sleep in open, fresh air as far as possible. During the winter season, windows and ventilators of the sleeping room should be kept open during the night. More­over, one should not cover the face while asleep. So, if one desires to be physically and sexually strong till old age, one must also have plenty of sleep.

Mental Worries., Fear and Anger

One does not usually realise how much harm mental worry, fear and anger do to one's general and sexual health. Mental worry, if continued for some time, can lead to serious weakness of sex functions. One must a void these at all costs. The habit of remaining cheerful should be cultivated. Cheerfulness increases mental and physical power and makes one al\ interesting and agreeable person.

The vital energy of good-natured, cheerful persons is not wasted as rapidly as that of those who always grumble and remain too sober or too sad. One should not throw off one's balance the moment something goes wrong. One should face the difficult moments with a stout heart and persistent cheerfulness

Cleanliness of Outer Sex Organs

As the outer sex organs arc not exposed to sunlight and open air, it is very necessary and of great importance for the man and the woman to keep these org Ins clean and healthy.

The man while taking bath should thoroughly clean the glans and the skin covered by the prepuce. The prepuce which is the loose fold of skin covering the glans should be moved backwards and then the glans cleaned with soap' and water. After the bath, the pubic region, penis and glans should be dried by using the towel briskly. Under clothing must be kept veery clean and changed as often as possible. After the coitus. the penis should he washed with warm water and dried up. If irritation or all other skin trouble takes place it should be checked at once by the use of some good ointment or talcum powder.

The woman has to be more careful about the cleanliness of her private parts due to their peculiar structure and the occurrence of the process of menstruation. While taking bath she must clean the vulva-particularly the folds of skin between the outer big lips and smaller lips thoroughly. The parts should also be washed with water after passing urine. During menstruation. good quality sanitary towels or well washed and clean pieces of cloth may be used. Dirty, very old and rejected pieces of cloth must not be used. The genitals should be thoroughly washed with warm water within an hour after the sexual union and should not be touched with dirty fingers. Some fragrant talcum powder may be applied occasionally.

Preserving the Firmness of Female Breasts

It has already been stated that full grown breasts of a young woman have always been considered the most beautiful portion of the ­female form and one of the greatest feminine charms which fascinate the opposite sex. If the woman takes the following precautions, she can preserve the shape and firmness of her breasts for a number of years longer.

Instructions mentioned in this chapter so far, namely fresh air, exercise, deep breathing, massage, cold water baths, nutritious diet, plenty of sleep and cheerfulness are all means of keeping the breasts in a perfect order. There is no better way of preserving their shape and size.

Very tight or even tight underwears should not be used. This not only hinders the natural growth of breasts but also makes them flat. At the time of puberty when the breasts begin to grow up no underwear need be used. But when the breasts have fully grown a loose fit underwear or the one which is just fit and not tight should be used to support them.

It may be repeated here that the woman should avoid breast feeding the baby when lying. The nipples and breasts should also not be stretched or pulled to the mouth of the baby, but the baby should always be brought up to the breasts. Nursing in lying down condition and stretching of nipples and breasts makes them flabby and hanging. Regularity in the hours of feeding should also be observ­ed.

Care of the Hair

As everyone knows, the presence of beauti­ful healthy hair enhances the beauty of a person. It is. therefore, important that the hair should be well cared for. Shampooing the hair at frequent intervals is very necessary. The hair must also be brushed and combed once or twice every day. The hair combs and brushes should be kept very dean. The scalp should be massaged daily with pure mustard oil, coconut oil or olive oil. This not only makes the hair beautiful, long a no strong but also acts as a tonic to the nervous system.

One must have noticed that in some cases the love and devotion between husband and wife diminishes after a year or two of marriage. Previously, they were always passionately devoted to each other and found it very difficult to bear -separation from each other even for short periods. But now. they find themselves changed. This unhappy change in their mutual love, devotion and respect may often lead to serious consequences. As the aim of this book is to enable the readers to have real love and married happi­ness throughout their lives it seems desirable to give here a few general points for the husband and the wife. These points if follow­ed rightly. in addition to the advice already given in this book on sex matters, will avoid to a very, great extent the chances of husband and wife drifting apart.

1. Mutual love should not be based on sexual attraction alone. On the other hand. it should in addition have much deeper found­ations of respect. truthfulness. and confidence and complete loyalty for each other.

2. One should be careful not to criticize his or her partners in the presence of others. Little differences, if any, should be compro­mised and settled amicably. One should express honest appreciation and admiration for one's partner whenever there is an opportu­nity to do so. .

3. They should keep their standard of living and expenditure within their means. Either of them may keep some money to spend entirely as he or she chooses. They must also save something for the future. This is im­portant.

4. After some months or a year or two of marriage some young wives become careless about their dress, hair and general make up and the therefore they look older and less pretty. The husband naturally wants to see his partner well dressed, well-groomed and as pretty and attractive as before. The result is that he begins to lose his pride in her and finds, attraction in other girls whom he meets outside the house. The young wives must not, therefore, fall into sloppy ways but should take care to remain attractive always in order to maintain their husband's pride love and respect for them.

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