Pre Marriage Course

Introduction

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Marriage was an enigma, is an enigma. and will be an enigma for ever and ever. Nobody has ever been able to offer a reasonable, much less scientific. explanation as to why Lamb chooses Lucy and not her sister Lily. To Mr. Shepherd. Miss Lily is infinitely superior to Lucy. Human intellect fails to reduce. the problem of marriage to a mathematical formula. Only the heart knows the answer.

"Marriage". says Dr. Dhirendra D. Mehta, .' is not merely a means of satisfying the sex instinct; it is an institution through which one's character and personality can find their fullest expression. Tt1e most vital of relationships, it brings with it a sense of stability and permanence."

Men and women find their highest potential in marriage. It fulfils the purpose of life by improving the human stock. To marry is to enter upon a new nod difficult phase of existence. It is not mere legalization of the sex instinct.

Co-operative Enterprise

Marriage is a co-operative enterprise of the highest order. Only when selfish pleasure seeking is kept down can the pair rise up. The partners contribute to the evolution of each other's personality.

More' often than not. spontaneity determines the choice of a partner. The mode, the method and the manner cannot be mathematically explained. But, it cannot be stated that it is impossible, because no scientific approach has ever been made to it. Love is like a fever that comes on unexpectedly.

Celestial Marriage Bureau It is said, that marriages are made in heaven. the implication being that there is a celestial marriage bureau in which every woman is registered as having her appointed man, both being so perfectly suited to each other that one cannot imagine either living with a different partner.

This is not always true now in the modern life. There might indeed be u Celestial Marriage Bureau. because people, particularly in the West, suddenly take fancy to each other and call for the priest. bur it is not long before they also call for the police. The beautiful fancy soon becomes an ugly fact. Far from being suited to each other they soon come to the precipice of a divorce. Little wonder. then, as Oscar Wilde believes, "Marriage is' the result of a misunderstanding." Understanding leads to divorce.In India, customary marriages are decided upon after match calculation and consider.1tion of a community of interests. These are made for family and professional reasons. Indian marriages usually suffer from a heavy handicap. because these run counter to love. More responsibility than affection is called for. It is hard to say whether eastern or western marriages are superior. Both are the extreme swings of the pendulum. It is perhaps best to strike a golden mean.

"There must be mutual attraction if the comradeship is to have a fair chance of lasting success. In the choice of a partner. it is necessary to resist feelings of more infatuation ; however. the opposite tendency should also be discouraged, that of over prudence and deliberation."

Marriages for Money

The principle of marrying 'for money is quite strong in many parts of

India

, particularly the rural areas. In the Punjab. the stranglehold of dowry is loosening among the educated people; but the maxim of the educated gentry in Uttar Pradesh is: "Do not marry for money. Marry for love.. But be sure there is money where you love." So both direct and indirect methods are adopted to extort money. Wedding is like n cattle fair where human beings arc sold and bought. While in the West, marriage docs imply some love. however temporary it may be, in the East it is a piece of worldly-minded cynicism.

India will have to go a great way to make marriage a really human institution for the betterment of humanity, improvement of the human race, affection of the couple, and a golden heart. to-heart link. Here is a revolution which the youth must lead :

1. Do not accept even a penny or pice in dowry.

2. Do not marry for anything except true affection

3. You have every right to select your partner, and do not leave that privilege to your parents.

4. Do not marry without having seen and known your partner. Refuse to he led behind fold into a serious lifelong responsil1ility.

5. If you are a girl and the boy demands a dowry, refuse to marry him at all. Better remain unmarried a1l your life than submit to a social tyranny.

Unless the young people take a revolutionary step to set the things right. these will never be righted. Do not depend upon the elders to know what you want. But do not be recklessly impudent or impudently reckless. There is no use going your own way by enraging your parents. In that case, refuse to marry at all. After all marriage is not an unavoidable necessity. And your parents will not live forever. Better wait and see. There arc men and women who have waited for a quarter of n century or more for the sake of true love. If the person )'lm select is in haste to marry, that is an irrefutable proof that his or her love is not true.

Marriage for Love

Froude has done a lot of research on marriages: Dr. Dhirendra D. Mehta, in his essay Psychology of marriage, has paraphrased Froude for the common Indian reader :

"The capacity to form romantic attach ments is a wonderful gift. If we do not fall in love, life will be much poorer and duller. But love at first sight may very well arise from some character fixation in one's mind. The suddenly loved one has a resemblance to some person idealised in child life-father, mother, uncle, brother, sister, or even a character from literature or the films.

"The condition known as mother fixation or father fixation makes it impossible: for a man or woman to choose a satisfactory partner. The fixed individual. whether male or fema1e, is-incapable of genuine love outside the family circle and of participating fu1Jy in social life. Although it is right for a man to love his mother, or a girl to love her father, such an attachment is different from that which seeks a marriage partner. It is said that Cupid, the god of Love, is wayward. Chance more than choice determines marriages, and in this the unconscious, conditioned by early experiences, plays a decisive part."

Thus, you will realize that love marriage is not as smooth-sailing as you might imagine.

You are likely to misjudge things. You are conditioned by early experiences. An ugly girl might well strike you as very beautiful, if one such person was your childhood playmate and very dear to you because of her sheer kindness. Therefore, do not make your choice. Let someone you love, sister, mother. etc., also have a say in the final selection. If you marry in haste you wi11regret at leisure. Remember that infatuation is not love.

Love at first sight is a proof of immaturity. In the U.S.A. love at first sight is no longer the rule. There, girls in their teens marry rich and welI-settled people above forty. That ensures them security of life and good legacy when tile aged husband passes away. Little wonder most of the property in America is owned by women. First, they marry for wealth and power. When their husbands pass away, their second marriage may be for love."

Qualities of courage and understanding and loyalty are far more likely to lead to a lasting comradeship rather than physical attraction. One's spontaneous feelings should not he such as to circumscribe one's judgement, and, if falling in love one forgets every thing else, one ought at least to remember that one is choosing the father or mother, as the case may be, of one's future children. It is a mistake to embark upon marital life in the same way as one would plan to learn violin or to travel abroad. But an amazing number of men and women choose their partners as a road-builder would his rocks. Men expect their wives to possess qualities that would compensate for their own defects and inferiorities; and women choose their husbands -for similar reasons." .

Sexual Incompatibility

"The fear of sexual incompatibility is a modern bogey. The sexua1 relationship can attain perfection only in the absence of anxiety. Pre-marital intimacy as a means of ascertaining compatibility is no true test for this very reason."

Marriage is a specialized form of human relationship. One can never choose the exact counterpart. Perfect partnership is a myth. Always, there are sharp edges of differences between the couples and these have to be blunted through compromise..

"Courting couples need not conceal from each other the fact that their bodies crave for union, but until marriage this should be looked upon as .l test of se1f-control. Sexual compatibility cannot be tried out before marriage. It is a proof of love not to tempt the other to transgress beforehand:'" Actual1y sexual intercourse before marriage limits the freedom of both men and women to decide whether they made a wise choice."

Sexual Attractiveness

Beauty is not something which can he measured with a yardstick. What appeals to one person may not appeal to another. Those who are unattractive by certain standards may have a special appeal for n person with specific preferences.

Every boy and girl should be given freedom by their parents to select the other partner. \\Then all is said and done, instinct is the best guide. The best period to select a partner is between the ages of twenty and thirty.

"It is delay which produces doubts, and doubts, in their turn, breed difficulties. It is much easier to understand one's children and to he a companion to them if the gap between the two generations is not too wide. It is easier for- the bachelor to adjust himself to double harness if he has not become set in his habits and too particular about his own personal comfort. and easier for the girl if she has not had time to become wedded to a career."

It is not advisable to marry a woman beyond the age of child-bearing unless you do not desire children. It is important that both the husband and the wife have the same social background, because that will make social adjustment easier, and only psychological compromise will be necessary. But family background should not turn you away from your particular attraction.

''Lovely flowers blossom in most unexpected places. and though the god of Love is blind, his intuition is sometimes unerring."

Complementary Emotional Roles

The husband and wife must play complementary, emotional role in the house, otherwise the life of the children will not be happy. Neither of them is superior or inferior. Both of them are equal in the eyes of their young ones. Their character is compounded in their children-the flowering of a natural compromise. Let the couple have a cultural compromise. The man is the head of the house and the woman is its heart.

"Differences may enrich the comradeship of marriage, but incompatibilities may prove ruinous. A realistic assessment of their selves is necessary before a pair embark upon the adventure of marriage.

"Sharing of common interests felicitates the development of a lasting-relationship. A happy understanding union brings new values and fresh perspectives. Incase of uncompromising complexities, the two should agree to differ.

The greatest enemy of marriage is possessiveness. One should not try to 0\00 the other. Both of them should become responsible citizens. The blushing tongue-tied bride is the chrysalis of the confident hostess.

The Gamble of An illusion

Marriage, even at its very best, remainsan illusion. Do not try to marry an idealization. You cannot afford to gamble away your life on the dice of reformist impossibilities. A drunkard bridegroom will never become a sober husband. It is a mistake .to marry a projection of one's inner self. Marriage comradeship must he satisfying to both the partners. Let every bride aspire , become a Sita or Savitri devoted to her husband. Robert Louis Stevenson had a wife who nursed him all his life: "My wife is everything to me: wife, brother. sister, daughter and dear companion and I would not change her for a goddess or a saint."

GOLDEN GUIDANCE FOR MERRY MARRIAGES

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Many women tend to improve in health and gain in weight after marriage. Many men also show similar signs of better health and greater' weight. It is sometimes attributed to the stimulating action of the absorbed " seminal fluid. But there are also other physical and psychological changes which accompany marriage. Therefore. it is not possible to evaluate accurately the factors involved in this physical improvement.

Feeling of life

The feeling of life is experienced by the pregnant woman in the fifth month. These sensations are like gentle fluttering. Gradually these become more frequent and more pronounced.

"The feeling of 'life' can generally be taken as a definite evidence of pregnancy, although it is not an infallible symptom. for occasionally it is stimulated by other internal sensations."

Child and Mother

The child in the mother is not really a part of the mother. It has its own independent existence and its own independent supply of food, well-stored from the beginning.

"In other words. within the fertilized egg are all packed the innumerable physical and mental qualities and characteristics of the child-to-be, and these can be influenced to hut a very small degree by the experiences of the mother during the period of pregnancy."

Lasting Emotional Disturbances

Passing moods have no effect on the child , inside the mother. Temporary emotional strains exercise no strain. But severe emotional disturbances may upset the pregnant woman's glandular balance and her general physical condition. This will affect the child.

Head-First Theory

In about ninety-six percent cases, it is the head of the new baby that comes out first. The usual position of the fetus is with its head downwards and limbs flexed. In about three percent of the cases, buttocks are the first to appear. These are ''breach'' delivers and carry some risk to the baby''.

The First Cry

"The first instinctive act of the new-born baby is to cry. The transition from the protected and warm surroundings of the mother's womb to the colder, outside environment constitutes a profound change in the life of an infant. Upon birth its communication with the circulation of the mother is interrupted. and it is no longer able to obtain its food and oxygen from that source, with the cry the new-born infant expands its lungs and establishes its own respiration so that it may take in the oxygen directly from the outside air."

The Length of Labour

The length of labour depends upon various factors, such as the size of the coming baby, pelvic dimensions of the mother, the contractile powers of her uterine muscles. The average period of labour is about sixteen hours for the first child and about ten hours for the subsequent child.

Painless Child birth

Childbirth is a natural function and need not be accompanied by a painful labour. And that exactly is the case among the primitive people and the peasants who live in the open, eat good food. lead hard vigorous lives. Many farmer women cut their own cords with a pocketknife and get back to work in a single day. It is the march of civilization, with its increasing tempo of luxury that has made childbirth a very painful operation that calls for the attention of doctors and nurses. Everything is painful today, including death.

Thompson wrote well :

Nothing begins and nothing ends,

That is not paid with moan;

We are born in others' pain,

And perish in our own.

Today, childbirth pains are reduced by obstetrical care and administration of sedatives and anesthetic and psychotherapeutic measures.

Natural Childbirth

Dr. Read has evolved a new approach to childbirth. It is called "Natural childbirth''. According to this method , the pains are largely the result of tensions and fears which must be removed from the mind of the expectant mother. Fears causes muscle fibre of the lower end of uterus to contract instead of relaxing which nature desires.

''If these fears are allayed and women arc taught during pregnancy certain breathing and muscular exercises, childbirth takes place with comparatively little pain. The method is now being tried out in a number of hospitals, and it seems to offer the promise of a valuable psychotherapeutic approach to the problem of childbirth pain. The woman who is prepared physically, mentally and emotionally for the event of labour may sometimes achieve a comparatively painless child. birth and actually becomes a rather satisfying experience for her.''

Caesarean Method

The removal of the child by operating on the abdomen of the mother is called delivery by the Caesarean method. It is said Julius Caesar was born in this way. So, the operation came to be known after him. It is performed where safe delivery by the traditional method is not possible, just as when the mother is very weak and the child inside her plump and -fat. With improvements in surgery, the operation is free from any kind of risk.

Lying-in Period

The lying-in period after childbirth depends upon the health of the. mother. Usually, it varies from one to two weeks. The peasant women' miss their work only a day or two. Today, this period of bed rest has been drastically shortened by many physicians.

Birth of Twins

Twining often occurs in several members of the same family. The tendency can be hereditary. Some women tend to have multiple births each time. This is made possible by having two or more sperms in the same ovum or more than one ovum 111 the uterus. One woman had twins. triplets and even quadruplets from three different husbands. On the other hand, two wives of a Russian peasant gave birth to twins and triplets so that he had eighty children to his credit.

Family Planning

The planning of parenthood constitutes an important individual and social health measure, for it helps to conserve the health of the parents and t he well-being of the children.

Importance of Family Planning

There arc cases in which birth control is absolutely essential. If the woman is suffering from kidney, tuberculosis. heart disease, psychopathic disorders. etc. birth control is absolutely essential. The use of contraception also becomes essential for eugenic reason. Child-bearing should be avoided where the husband or the wife is suffering from physical or mental disorders, because these are likely to be transmitted to the offspring. .

In India, the most potent factor in favour of family planning is overpopulation. Our country cannot feed and breed the teeming masses and that result is unemployment, lower standard of living, and general discontent. Family planning is the only way out.

" Most of the achievements of civilization have been made possible by man's learning how to control the forces of nature. The use or the lightning rod, of steam heat, of anesthesia during child birth, these are all unnatural in the sense that they tend to interfere natural phenomena or to cheat the laws of nature or to cheat the laws of nature, yet we should hardly wish to do without them. The practice of birth control is but another step in the increase of our power to control human welfare rationally. Few people nowadays deny the need for family planning. It is only a question as to what particular method should be employed for the purpose of controlling conception."

The Safe Period

It is wide1y accepted that there is a rhythm of fertility and sterility in the woman's menstrual month. Impregnation can occur only on certain days of this period. This is called the rhythmic method of birth control.

"The belief that there is a period in the menstrual cycle during which conception is not possible probably dates back to antiquity. Over two thousand years ago. Hindu physicians spoke of a period of absolute sterility in the menstrual month. The mosaic laws. which prohibit sexual relations during the menstrual How and for a week thereafter, were possibly based on the theory that certain ether days of the month were likely to be more fertile."

In the human female only one egg is released every month, and the egg retains its vitality not longer than forty-eight hours. Unless the egg is fertilized during this period, impregnation becomes impossible, At other times intercourse cannot lead to pregnancy.

"Ovulation occurs from fourteen to sixteen days before the beginning of the next menstrual period''. If a woman menstruates largely every twenty eight days, her ovulation will take place between the thirteenth to the fifteenth day of her cycle counting from the day when menstruation began. This would be about the middle of her menstrual month. If the cycles are shorter or longer, then the day of ovulation will come earlier or 1ater. If a woman, for example, menstruates every twenty four days then she would ovulate between the ninth and eleventh day and if she menstruates every thirty-two days, the egg is probably released between the seventeenth and nineteenth day from the beginning of menstruation. In o/her words, the number of days between the beginning of menstruation and the time of ovulation may vary considerably, but the number of days between ovulation and the beginning of the following menstruation are usually fairly constant from fourteen to sixteen days."

Coitus Interruptus

Coitus interrupts is withdrawal of till; male organ just prior to ejaculation and the seminal fluid is discharged outside the female genital tract. This is also called Onanism ^__ a method adopted by males to prevent conception.

Sterilization

By means of X-rays or it surgical operation, it is possible to make man or woman permanently incapable of reproduction. In the males, there is un artificial obstruction of the sperm cells from the tests. It is the deferens which is blocked. The operation is called vasectomy. In the woman, the passage of egg cells from the ovaries is blocked. The fallopian tubes are cut off or closed. When these are cut or tied, the eggs from the ovaries cannot reach the uterus nor can the sperms gain access to the egg. The operation requires abdominal incision and hospitalization for a week. Therefore, the sterilization of women is a more involved undertaking than the sterilization of men.

Period of Fertility

The childbearing period of a woman extends from the age of fifteen to forty-five years, for about thirty years. But that is not the utmost limit. Women have given, birth to child ten even much longer than that.

'Statistical studies in America have shown that about 87 percent of all children are born to women between the ages of twenty and thirty-nine, and only 13 percent to mothers under twenty or over thirty-nine. It is generally accepted that the fertility of a woman starting at puberty gradually rises to its height in the twenties, and then diminishes, at first slowly and then rapidly. With the onset of menopause, in the forties, fertility decreases at a faster rate, and the chances of a conception are correspondingly reduced."

The fertility of man lasts longer than that of the woman. Men have become father at sixty and even at seventy. A man became fertile at ninety-seven. But the fertility docs lessen past the youth.

Responsibility for Childlessness

"As a matter of fact, one of. the most significant advances in the study of fertility, has been the rea1izatie1 that the fruitfulness of marriage depends upon the degree of fertility of both mates, and that the responsibility for childlessness must be shared by both husband and wife."

Dangers of Abortion

In the- U.S.A., three to . four thousand women die of abortion annually, and a very large number remain chronically ill. Many women become permanently sterile following such operations. The principal reason is that most abortions arc carried out secretly under unhygienic conditions. The operations are performed by untrained and incompetent people. Performed by trained surgeons, dangers arc much reduced. But, it must be noted that in most countries, abortion is prohibited by law.

Hindu Honeymoon

"In the Kama Sutra, a Hindu classic on marital conduct, Vatsyayana advises that a husband should take ten days in gradually gaining the confidence of his wife before ever attempting to consummate the marital union''.

Artificial Defloration

The primitive tribes artificially dilate or break the hymen before marriage. According to Ploss and Bartels in Woman, hymen is even removed in early childhood. This happens in parts of China and Japan. The membrane is unintentional1y destroyed due to energetic cleaning of the baby by the nurse or the mother "Many physicians in these countries are said not even to be aware of the existence of the hymen. The social emotional and sentimental significance attached to virginity is a comparatively recent development in the evolution of human culture."

Orgasm

Orgasm is erotic stimulation. When a person becomes sexually aroused, the heart beats faster, the blood pressure rises. There is an increased flow of blood into the various organs. The penis, the clitoris, the inner labia, the vagina walls become tight. The nipples or the breast are inflated. A corresponding heightening of nervous tension affects the whole body. This sexual stimulation goes lip and lip to the zenith until the final release. This moment is called orgasm. As the sex act reaches the climax. There is a spasmodic contraction of the muscles surrounding the genitals.

In the man, the orgasm is accompanied by the ejaculation of the seminal fluid. It is ejaculated in a number of rhythmic jets.- The total quantity ejaculated amounts to nearly a teaspoonful, In the woman the orgasm signifies the release of accumulated tension. The experience is described as "a tingling all over", "ba1loons bursting inside", "waves coming after one another in ever-widening

circles".

Azoospermia

"In some cases the seminal fluid contains no spermatozoa at all. a condition known as azoospermia. This may result either from a failure of testes to produce any spermatozoa, or from obstruction in seminal ducts which prevent the sperm cells from passing through."

This can be investigated by a minor operation known as Testicular Biopsy to find out what the trouble is. A minute portion of the testicular tissue is removed for microscopic examination. If the testes arc not producing any spermatozoa at all, the chances of a cure arc remote.

Artificial Insemination

"Artificial insemination merely implies the artificial or mechanical introduction of male seminal fluid into the female genital tract for the purpose of inducing impregnation. The only artificial clement in this procedure is the mechanical injection of the seminal fluid. The spermatozoa are still the natural spermatozoa of the man, and t he egg must, of course, be the natural egg of the woman; conception will occur only when the two meet in the woman's fallopian tube, and not in a laboratory test tube."

The first artificial insemination was practiced by Spallanzani upon a famale dog in 1784. He writes in his Dissertations. "Thus did I succeed in fecundating this quardruped ; and I can say truly that I never received greater pleasure upon any occasion, since I first cultivated experimental philosophy."

Test Tube Babies

Haldane, in his. imaginative booklet, Daedalus on the future potentialities of science, .maintains envisioning a time when the majority of human children will be born in laboratory. He terms it "ectogentically" born. The ovary of a woman will be removed at puberty. It will be kept in a suitable medium. As the eggs matured each month, they would be artificially fertilized with spermatozoa. The resulting embryo will be incubated in the laboratory for nine months, . and then brought into .the world. The sex cells of the eugenically suitable men and women will be selected for breeding purposes.

H. J. Muller, the American biologist, suggests in his book OUI of the Night that the spermatozoa of the selected men can be kept alive through refrigeration long after the death of the individual and used in artificial insemination for the eugenic improvement of mankind. .

Abortion and Miscarriage

"Both imply a premature termination or interruption of a pregnancy. Technically there is a distinction between the two words according to whether the pregnancy the early or later months. In ordinary usage, however, the term 'miscarriage' is applied to a spontaneous and involuntary ending of a pregnancy at any time before the seventh month, while 'abortion' is used to indicate an artificial and deliberate interruption of pregnancy. When a pregnancy terminates after the seventh month, but before full term. that is at a time when the baby is generally large enough to have a fair chance for survival, it is called a premature birth."

It is a wrong belief that slight accidents like falling down the stairs can cause miscarriage. As a rule, even violent strain and physical exercises do not interrupt the course of pregnancy.

Sexual Adjustment

Any number of factors play a part in the adjustment of two persons in marriage-their personalities, the degree of t heir emotional stability, their mutual compatibility, their social and economic situation, family relationships, and many other rhymes and reasons.

Sexual Urge

Moll once divided the sexual urge into two Clements: the impulse towards general bodily contact, "to approach, touch, kiss a person of the opposite sex" and the impulse towards sex union, towards the relief of sexual tension.

In the girl, the desire for bodily contact is much more strongly developed than the desire for genital' contact. The caress, the embrace and the kiss are more satisfying to her, in the beginning, than the actual sexual contact,

Rhythm of Sexual Desire

There is a monthly rhythm in the intensity of the sexual urge, as investigated by Havelock Ellis and others. There is a periodic rising and waning of the sexu31 desire during the menstrual 'month of a Woman. The erotic impl1.1ses are increased a few days before the menstrual flow .or immediately thereafter. There is a second rise of the rhythm of sexual desire in the middle of he menstrual course'. As a rule, the height of sexual desire coincides with the height of sexual fertility.

PROBLEMS OF SEXUAL ADJUSTMENT

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Marriage is an ideal towards which a couple must continue to move; it is not achieved by the mere' act or ceremony of marriage. When two personalities, having had different environment, arc united in marriage, there are any number of adjustments that have to be made in the initial stages of married life. Indeed, the success of a marriage depends, more than anything else, on the readiness with which both partners adjust themselves to their new life. There are a number of factors that plays part in the adjustment of two persons in marriage. The most important of them are her personalities, the mutual ,compatibility, their socio-economic situation, family relationships, the degree of emotional security and so on. Among them is another vital factor which has a direct or indirect bearing on so m.1ny other aspects of the relationship between husband and wife. This is the sex factor. Sexual adjustment therefore constitutes the bedrock of happy and success of married life. .

One of the important pre-conditions for success in marriage is a proper and adequate knowledge about sex. Since man, rather than the woman. has to take the initiative in the consummation of the sexual union. it is all the more important for him to be equipped with the knowledge of the mechanics of sexual union. Ignorae1ce or lack of skill is not the only reason for sexual maladjustments. The woman's attitude towards sex plays an equally important role. If her reaction to any attempt at sexual union is resistance, whether it be conscious or unconscious, it is obvious t ha t happy adjustments will not be possible. It is therefore a matter where hath panics have to be in a proper frame of mind.

At times, female resistance may even be involuntary and caused by what is called genital spasm. It is nothing but an involuntary tightening of the muscle surrounding the lower part of the vagina due to physical or emotional factors. Mostly, however, genital spasm is an unconscious defence mechanism against sexual relations. Fears, inhibitions and prohibitions of the earlier life often play

an important part in causing genital spasm. The husband has to be very patient with his wife in these circumstances and bring her round through education, persuasion and understanding appreciation. There is no reaction why with a little tact the initial difficulties should not be overcome and happy sexual relations established. As Vatsyayana says, "Women being of a tender nature, want tender beginnings, and when they me forcibly approached by men... they sometimes suddenly become haters of sexual connection, and sometimes even haters of the; male sex . The man should. therefore, approach his bride according to her liking, and should make use of those devices by which he may be able to establish himself more and more into her confidence."

The importance of the gradual, psychological approach cannot, therefore, by over-emphasized.

Now, one of the commonest eomp1aints in sexual relation is hasty ejaculation. While reference has been made to this problem in an earlier chapter, it bears a detailed discussion here, because causes a sense or frustration in both the husband ;111<.1 the wife. It creates a sense of guilt and remorse in the husband as he has not been able to give full satisfaction to his wife. It frustrates the wife because she is led right up to the climax and then suddenly left unsatisfied with the result that the nervous tension which accumulates in her on account of the performance of sex act is not released. The ecstatic joy flowing from the sex act is not the: mere preserve or the monopoly of the man; it has to be equally shared by both partners. This can only be if orgasm occurs, and hasty or premature ejaculation in the case of the man prevents the occurrence of orgasm.

In the pages that follow, therefore, the problem of premature or hasty ejaculation is analysed in some detail.

Now, the complaint of hasty ejaculation does not come merely from those who arc weak in health, but even from those, who, by all appearances, are physically robust.

Its reasons are more psychological than physic31. When desire for lust is at its acutest, the ejaculation is the quickest. Little wonder, people of calm philosophical mind with slow-moving temperament, who are apparently impotent, are sexually the most potent. They can delay ejaculation as long as they desire. It is the ladies who find that they cannot keep pace with them! Smart pert ladies ejaculate earlier than easy-going philosophers.

Not an Incurable Malady

Hasty ejaculation is not an incurable malady. With a little self-psychological assurance and determination, sexual intercourse can be prolonged for any length of time. The hasty ejaculator should not despise himself. He is not at all responsible for his failings. Sometimes ejaculation occurs even before the male organ has touched a woman. A little calmness and determination not to let go the semen each time you go in for a sexual intercourse will ultimately completely cure you without any external aid.

A good deal of ignorance prevails on the subject of premature or precipitate ejaculation. People both lay and professional, speak of premature ejaculation as if it were an entity with always the same aetiology, pathology and treatment.

As a matter of fact, we have two distinct varieties of premature ejaculation, possessing a different aetiology, a different symptomatology, and requiring diametrically opposite treatments. One variety is due to a hyper excitability of the ejaculatory centre, the man being sexually normal in all other respects, that is his libido is unimpaired, the orgasm is normal, the pleasure of the act is normal, and the sensation of satisfaction and well-being after intercourse is as after a perfectly normal coitus. The unsatisfactoriness in this kind of premature ejaculation really relates more to the woman than to the man.

The second variety of premature ejaculation is of an entirely different character. Here the libido is diminished. The erections may or may not be affected. but the orgasm is invariably diminished. There is little or no pleasure during ejaculation. In fact, instead of any pleasurable sensation there may be a disagreeable scalding or burning sensation in the urethra, and after the act the man feels disgusted, depressed and generally cranky and irritable.

In the first variety of cases, the urethra and the prostate are normal, the whole trouble being, as stated, in the hyper-excitability of the ejaculatory centre. In the second variety, there is usually atom or inflammation of the prostate and - congestion of the posterior urethra. .

The patients with the first variety of ejaculation are readily amenable to treatment. Instructions to restrain, together with a few doses of sodium or strontium bromide, are generally sufficient to produce an improvement or a Core. Patients of the second variety require all the physician's skill and patience.

What happens is that in an effort to open up the vagina at once the male or can receives too muscle friction. Further more the organ though apparently erect, is not so actually, because erection also needs a few minutes. Thus the organ is not fully hard and rigid. So that urethra remains unconstrained and the passage for the passing out of semen is not blocked. Semen percolates along the urethra. Vigorous movements stimulate the nerves and precipitate an orgasm rather prematurely.

The Urethral Crest

The answer to this is adequate love-play before the act. In love-play, erection is completely secured and semen collects near the base of the male organ in the urethral crest. This, being wider. helps to retain the semen until ejaculation is desired, A hurried entry into the vagina may leave it no time to be sufficiently lubricated. So the male organ receives greater stimulation from the dry walls of the vagina. The cure is obvious. There must be sufficient foreplay to create full erection and conditioning of the male organ as well as to prepare the woman to receive it.

The pre-coital love-making is important even in marriages of long duration. Whenever there is a ca1l for sexual intercourse, there is a cry for pre-coital love-making. Also give time to the small glands inside the vaginal canal to lubricate the vagina. If this does not happen, a little jelly, or vaseline should be applied to the female parts. The vagina should be opened with the fingers and thoroughly lubricated.

Sexual Virility and the Male Organ

It is generally believed that men with nigger and longer male organs are sexually more virile. This is, in fact, not so : for, the size of the organ does not have any direct relationship with sexual strength. Men with large organs have -been known to be sexually quite weak. Conversely, men with small organs have been known to be very potent. The average length of the male organ or penis in a flaccid state is about three and three quarters of an inch. Its circumference around the shaft is about three and a quarter inches. During erection its length is between five and six inches. .

These dimensions are, however, subject to variations from individual to individual. Nor do they particularly depend on the general physique of the man. They are apparently controlled by the internal secretion of the sex glands rather than by factors which determine the general build of the body.

It is well, therefore, to bear in mind that the sexual function is a function is a function having per se, having its own centres in the brain and spinal cord, and its strength or weakness is not necessarily related to or dependent upon the strength and weakness of the body in general and a splendid specimen of humanity may be and frequently is a pitiable failure in rebus sexulibus.

Male Frigidity and Importance

As stated earlier, sexual capacity varies from man to man. While frigidity is more common among women. it is found in men, too. Sexual frigidity in a man merely means lack of sexual appetite; it does not mean as is often believed lack of sexual virility. A man may be sexually frigid and yet fairly virile during the sexual intercourse, Impotence, on the other hand, means the incapacity to have firm erection or to maintain it for long enough, though he may have very strong and desire for sex. Frigidity in the male is thus the opposite of impotence. In one case, the capacity is normal but the desire is not strong enough. In the other case, the desire is strong but capacity is subnormal.

Now, the general sexual competence of a man depends on a variety of factors like the strength of his libido or sexual desire, his ability to have firm erection and his capacity to maintain it long enough. Well, if his libido is weak or he cannot maintain his erection for a sufficiently long period, it is obvious that he cannot satisfy his partner who is natura1ty frustrated after the act.

Physical Factors

Male frigidity and impotence may be caused either by physical factors or by . Psychologica1. If there is a physiological reason for lad of sexual capacity, for instance, deficiency of hormones or local disorders of the sex organs or other constitutional factors, the defect can be remedied through the administration of certain hormones and vitamins and through other forms of the medical treatment. Competent-medical advice should be sought so that the real cause could be discovered and removed. Here in lies the continued happiness of the husband and wife.

Impotence may be temporarily c6lused by excessive indulgence leading in exhaustion. On account or over-indulgence in sex, one's physical powers are for a while blunted and apathy in such cases is quite normal and understandable. Some writers have actually called it beneficial. As Dr. Velde says in his Ideal Marriage, . "It is, so to speak, a natural self defence of the organism against exactions and excesses."

Psychological Factors

There are a number of psychological factors which may cause frigidity and impotence in the man. In most cases sexual incapacity is caused by emotional factors. Emotional conflicts, fear and anxieties of several kinds, neurotic tendencies and the influence of childhood and religious teachings about sex being simple are all factors which have a strong influence on the sexual capacities of a man, just as they have on those of a woman. In our discussion of this subject in the earlier chapter. we also quoted Havelock Ellis who. attributes sexual incompetence to 'incomplete social adaptation.'

Unhygienic conditions of a bedroom, fear of pregnancy, one's conception of morality and chastity, lack of response from the partner arc some other causes which may produce conditions of psychological importance. Modern civilization generally tends to produce psychosexual importance. This is probably due to the increase in the degree of consciousness, brooding and the tensions and preoccupations of modern life.

These are, however. factors which can be got over with a little attention. In any case, for the correct diagnosis of the real causes. it is necessary to seek medical counsel. Once the causes are found it is not difficult to remedy the defects. If psychological factors arc at the root of impotence. self-confidence, training in and practice of the art of love can help considerably. In any case, there is absolutely no reason to despair.

Frigidity in Women

Sexual frigidity is a rather common phenomenon among women. In the case of some women, the sex urge is not very strong. There are others who have a fairly strong urge but find little or no pleasure in the sex act itself. They may find sexual intercourse as something obnoxious except when intended for procreation. So, different women have different manifestations of frigidity. Frigidity is, however.. not a permanent state. All women are frigjd at one time or another, and quite naturally. Total frigidity is perhaps a very rare occurrence. Social, cultural and emotional factors play an important part in the development of sexual impulse. The causes of frigidity in women, as in men, must. therefore, be sought in these factors. In a civilised community, sex becomes more of a conscious activity than an instinct. Environment has a considerable influence on our sex impulse.

Again, frigidity may be the result of faulty sex education and of inhibitions and fears acquired in one's earlier life. Among the chief causes of frigidity in women, however are fear and anxiety-fear of sex, fear of pain from the sex act, fear of pregnancy or bodily injury and so on. One painful child-birth may produce in the woman a very strong dread of sex.

Quite apart from these general causes, frigidity in women may be caused by her attitude towards her own l1usband. She can hardly get any satisfaction from him if she does not have feelings of affection for him. Or, his technique may be defective and as a resu1t produce in the women an aversion for the act. His own approach towards her, therefore, plays a significant part in whether she reacts to it frigidly or with p:1ssion.

Just as the causes of frigidity differ from individual to individual, the treatment may also have to be different. In an)' case, the measures necessary to overcome the condition of frigidity would depend on the nature and cause in each individual case. Proper sex education. a reorientation of attitude towards sex. removal of baseless fears and anxieties, proper training in the technique of love and freedom from fear of conception through reliable birth control measures are some of the factors which may be of great value in arousing the latent sexual impulse of the woman.

The husband must learn through experience the actions, the delicate motions or signs, the voluptuous kisses, the affectionate hugs and embraces that produce the most effective response in the wife und arouse her sexual impulses. These have a salutary effect on her and will certainly make her an equal, active partner in relationships as indeed she should be.

The wife has an important role to play in remedying her condition of frigidity. She must reaiise that her entire happiness depends on the adjustment she is able to make in her sexual relations with her husband. It must always be remembered that sexual maladjustments may often, and actually do, lead to disharmony in other spheres of life. Lasting relationships only be built on mutual understanding, appreciation of each other's point of a view, full realisation of each other's difficulties and deficiencies and an honest effort at overcoming them to the mutual benefit of both parties. A mutual sexual response is of prime significance to harmony in married life. She must therefore make a genuine effort to stimulate her interest in sex and response to the approaches of her husband.

A word of warning. Just as a wife should not despise her husband who is sexually inadequate for her, so should a husband not despise his wife if she happens to be frigid. He must approach her with patience, try to win over and around her feelings and urge for the sex act delicately and with tender particularly in those parts of her body which stimulate her most. Particular attention may be paid to the breasts and their nipples, the lips, the hips, buttocks and thighs, which in most women produce adequate response and brighten their passion.

The problems of sexual adjustment. then, arc not specific either to the husband or to the wife. Both have their own deficiencies and they can only be got over through a united effort. The endeavours made by one can be utterly frustrated by the apathy of the other. It is therefore, both partners who have to put their shoulder to the wheel and solve each problem they encounter in the sexual side of their married life. Given the necessary effort and the right approach, there is no problem which cannot be tackled. Remember, life is worth living only if there is harmony between the couple. Sexual harmony is necessary for general harmony in life and can only be achieved through mutual adjustments and the spirit of give and take,

SEXUAL ATTRACTION

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Do not whip up your desire in unnatural ways. This is both foolish and dangerous. Think more of your health, home and happiness than mere sexual gratification. If you are H woman, your beauty is a short lived thing and will fade away like flowers after a while. If you are a man, your health is a thin thread by which your entire future hangs. Maintain strict cleanliness in your sexual relations. Thus says the Bible:

"And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be clean until the evening. And every garment, and every skin, wherein is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be clean until the evening."

Repression

Endangers Health

If you are not a yogi and cannot. practice self control, any willful and continuous repression of the sex urge will endanger your health and will have a particularly deleterious effect on your nerves as it is now universally recognized by neurologists that human psyche reacts to every repression of sexual desire with neurotic symptoms.

Sexual Impotence

The functional disorder of hasty ejaculation is not a proof of impotence. This is a perfectly normal phenomenon and does not , how illness. There may be a temporary psychological impotence, but it must not be considered seriously and is easily curable. A very tight foreskin may mechanically restrict erection. Certain illnesses, such as mumps, may also temporarily restrict potency. According to Stekel, fear is often the cause of premature ejaculation. Or, as Havelock Ellis puts it, sexual impotence may be due to incomplete social adaptation. The phenomenon of sexual incompetence or sexual inadequacy, also called sexual impotence, is thus largely psychological. Men with large male organs are not necessarily virile or highly-sexed. Organ size varies from man to man just like other parts of the body.

Psychological impotence or disturbances of efficient sexual functioning. can be easily treated through psychiatric care and guidance. The man himself can overcome these inadequacies by carefully analysing the emotional or psychological causes and then consciously attempting to raise his potential. But sexual impotence may also be the result of certain constitutional disorders like hormone deficiencies, local disorders of the sex organs or other constitutional factors which lead to a diminution of his sexual desire and competence. These disabilities are by no means incurable in most cases. Hormones and vitamins, local treatment of the genital tract and other forms of medical treatment should prove quite effective. Competent medical advice should be sought to remedy the defects.

In any case, the problem of hasty or rapid ejaculation should not cause undue alarm. In most cases, the man suffering from this defect can remedy it through training and control. If he learns to be passive and active intermittent in the sexual act, it should be possible to delay ejaculation. Here are some of the other methods by which sexual competence can be considerably increased.

Fresh Air, Exercise and Deep Breathing

As everyone knows, fresh air contains a large quantity of oxygen which is capable of purifying and enriching blood. It also helps in elimination of wastes. One must, therefore, keep the doors, windows and ventilators of the house wide open to allow as much fresh air as possible to come in. Besides, one must spend some time in the morning and evening in open air, away from the crowded parts of the own, that is, in parks, fields or other places where there are no or very few buildings. If one cannot afford to 80 out in the open places both in the morning and evening. one n1ust do so at least once every day preferably in the morning. in the open air, one should practice deep breathing inhaling as much fresh air as possible, keeping it in the lungs for a few moments, i.e., as long as conveniently possible and then exhaling the air slowly. One should also take some light exercise in the open air daily. Muscular exercise taken in fresh air replaces the. old worn out tissues of the body by fresh vigorous ones. If one does not take any exercise, one must have a brisk walk for- an hour in the open air. Thereafter. one should remain in as much free and open air as possible during the whole day. If one follows these instructions regularly, there will be a great change in his or her health-the digestive power will improve-fresh. pure and red blood will be formed and sexual vigour will also increase. Pregnant women should not have brisk walks and exercise. They must, however, spend as much time as possible in the open fresh air.

Massage and Cold Water Bath

Before taking the bath, the body should be massaged vigorously with the vegetable oil one is used to. In case no vegetable oil is used, every part of the body should be rubbed thoroughly with dry hands. This should be done for fifteen to twenty minutes daily. This increases the circulation of blood and makes the skin healthy and lustrous and keeps it free from pimples and eruptions. After massage and rubbing, one should fake rest for a few minutes and then have a cold water bath.' Cold water bath is very good for toning up the body and has an invigorating effect. It also increases the retentive power of the man and the power of resistance against disease. While taking hath. every part of the body should be well rubbed with hands. . Thereafter the body should be dried by using a moderately coarse towel briskly. One should also have sun baths and. warm water baths occasionally.

Diet

It will be admitted that the diet one takes and the manner in which one takes it go a long way in making or marring ones general and sexual health. One must, therefore. be very careful about the diet. Firstly, the diet must be chewed and masticated thoroughly as the stomach has no teeth. Secondly, one must have it at regular intervals Thirdly over-eating should always be avoided" however tasteful the dishes may be. Fourthly, perfect diet, i.e., such diet as contains. proteins, starches, fat, vitamins and mineral salts should be taken in plenty. Milk, butter, pure ghee, fresh fruits and vegetables, honey, cereals, pulses, nuts, eggs, fish and meat of certain birds are all nutritious eatables and increase strength vitality and sexual powers. These produce healthy semen and should be used in good quantities. On the other hand. highly spiced food, chillies, tamarind sweets, pastries, chocolates, cakes. biscuits, jams, sauces, vinegar, etc.. should be used very sparingly as these may not only lead to disorders in the digestive and circulatory systems but also weaken the semen. Alcohol, tea, coffee, cocoa, etc., are also harmful to general and sexual health. Their excessive use may temporarily, but it has disastrous effects of the sexual powers in the long run. Efforts should, therefore be made to stop the use of alcohol, tea, coffee, etc., but if it is found difficult to abstain from them totally, their use must be minimized as much as possible, One should take plenty of water, say, eight to ten glasses every day. Constipation, which leads to many other physical trouble, should be cured as soon as it occurs.

Smoking

Like alcohol, tea and coffee, smoking also causes sexual weakness. It also affects the nervous system. Tobacco contains nicotine, which in its pure form is a very strong poison. If one or two drops of pure nicotine are put on the cat it will die at once. In China people had been committing suicide by taking very old chukka' water. While smoking cigarettes, cigars, etc., one gets extremely small amount of nicotine and thus, though there is no immediate effect, the system is poisoned gradually. Smoking has a bad effect on the digestive respiratory and sexual systems and it also weakens the teeth and eyesight. .It is, there. fore, very necessary that the use of tobacco should be reduced, unless it can be given up altogether.

Sleep

It is very necessary that one should have sound sleep for eight to ten hours every day. This restores the energy used while awake and also acts as a very good tonic for the nervous system . One should sleep in open, fresh air as far as possible. During the winter season, windows and ventilators of the sleeping room should be kept open during the night. Moreover, one should not cover the face while asleep. So, if one desires to be physically and sexually strong till old age, one must also have plenty of sleep.

Mental Worries., Fear and Anger

One does not usually realise how much harm mental worry, fear and anger do to one's general and sexual health. Mental worry, if continued for some time, can lead to serious weakness of sex functions. One must a void these at all costs. The habit of remaining cheerful should be cultivated. Cheerfulness increases mental and physical power and makes one al\ interesting and agreeable person.

The vital energy of good-natured, cheerful persons is not wasted as rapidly as that of those who always grumble and remain too sober or too sad. One should not throw off one's balance the moment something goes wrong. One should face the difficult moments with a stout heart and persistent cheerfulness

Cleanliness of Outer Sex Organs

As the outer sex organs arc not exposed to sunlight and open air, it is very necessary and of great importance for the man and the woman to keep these org Ins clean and healthy.

The man while taking bath should thoroughly clean the glans and the skin covered by the prepuce. The prepuce which is the loose fold of skin covering the glans should be moved backwards and then the glans cleaned with soap' and water. After the bath, the pubic region, penis and glans should be dried by using the towel briskly. Under clothing must be kept veery clean and changed as often as possible. After the coitus. the penis should he washed with warm water and dried up. If irritation or all other skin trouble takes place it should be checked at once by the use of some good ointment or talcum powder.

The woman has to be more careful about the cleanliness of her private parts due to their peculiar structure and the occurrence of the process of menstruation. While taking bath she must clean the vulva-particularly the folds of skin between the outer big lips and smaller lips thoroughly. The parts should also be washed with water after passing urine. During menstruation. good quality sanitary towels or well washed and clean pieces of cloth may be used. Dirty, very old and rejected pieces of cloth must not be used. The genitals should be thoroughly washed with warm water within an hour after the sexual union and should not be touched with dirty fingers. Some fragrant talcum powder may be applied occasionally.

Preserving the Firmness of Female Breasts

It has already been stated that full grown breasts of a young woman have always been considered the most beautiful portion of the female form and one of the greatest feminine charms which fascinate the opposite sex. If the woman takes the following precautions, she can preserve the shape and firmness of her breasts for a number of years longer.

Instructions mentioned in this chapter so far, namely fresh air, exercise, deep breathing, massage, cold water baths, nutritious diet, plenty of sleep and cheerfulness are all means of keeping the breasts in a perfect order. There is no better way of preserving their shape and size.

Very tight or even tight underwears should not be used. This not only hinders the natural growth of breasts but also makes them flat. At the time of puberty when the breasts begin to grow up no underwear need be used. But when the breasts have fully grown a loose fit underwear or the one which is just fit and not tight should be used to support them.

It may be repeated here that the woman should avoid breast feeding the baby when lying. The nipples and breasts should also not be stretched or pulled to the mouth of the baby, but the baby should always be brought up to the breasts. Nursing in lying down condition and stretching of nipples and breasts makes them flabby and hanging. Regularity in the hours of feeding should also be observed.

Care of the Hair

As everyone knows, the presence of beautiful healthy hair enhances the beauty of a person. It is. therefore, important that the hair should be well cared for. Shampooing the hair at frequent intervals is very necessary. The hair must also be brushed and combed once or twice every day. The hair combs and brushes should be kept very dean. The scalp should be massaged daily with pure mustard oil, coconut oil or olive oil. This not only makes the hair beautiful, long a no strong but also acts as a tonic to the nervous system.

One must have noticed that in some cases the love and devotion between husband and wife diminishes after a year or two of marriage. Previously, they were always passionately devoted to each other and found it very difficult to bear -separation from each other even for short periods. But now. they find themselves changed. This unhappy change in their mutual love, devotion and respect may often lead to serious consequences. As the aim of this book is to enable the readers to have real love and married happiness throughout their lives it seems desirable to give here a few general points for the husband and the wife. These points if followed rightly. in addition to the advice already given in this book on sex matters, will avoid to a very, great extent the chances of husband and wife drifting apart.

1. Mutual love should not be based on sexual attraction alone. On the other hand. it should in addition have much deeper foundations of respect. truthfulness. and confidence and complete loyalty for each other.

2. One should be careful not to criticize his or her partners in the presence of others. Little differences, if any, should be compromised and settled amicably. One should express honest appreciation and admiration for one's partner whenever there is an opportunity to do so. .

3. They should keep their standard of living and expenditure within their means. Either of them may keep some money to spend entirely as he or she chooses. They must also save something for the future. This is important.

4. After some months or a year or two of marriage some young wives become careless about their dress, hair and general make up and the therefore they look older and less pretty. The husband naturally wants to see his partner well dressed, well-groomed and as pretty and attractive as before. The result is that he begins to lose his pride in her and finds, attraction in other girls whom he meets outside the house. The young wives must not, therefore, fall into sloppy ways but should take care to remain attractive always in order to maintain their husband's pride love and respect for them.

FAMILY PLANNING

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Marriage is an ocean about which the swimmers know nothing. Therefore. the bride and the bridegroom have to be very careful, otherwise they may be blessed with more daughters and sons than they can conveniently manage, and they might well have passed beyond the danger point before the realization of the danger dawns upon them. It is a great pity indeed to see young couples completely mobbed by a dozen or so children whom they have brought into the world in a moment of mighty recklessness without adequately providing for them.

"Sex is undeniably important in marriage, but it is not the only thing. nor would the union be wrecked if he did nothing for the first few nights. On the contrary, his bride would probably respect and love him all the more for his consideration, for she too may feel the strain of anticipation as to what is in store for her."

The slower method is suited to the fast tempo of the modern times. It gives you time to think and a peaceful realization of sexual desire: and encourages in you the habit of birth control through self control, as advised by Mahatma Gandhi and ancient Indian sail1ts and sages. The fewer the sexual intercourses, the more will be your - sexual satisfaction. Therefore, even if you are married, practice Brahmacharya as far as possible.

Sex is a chamber-half of which is hell and the other half is heaven. It is for you to decide whether you enter by the Door of Devils or the Gate of Angels. Mahatma Gandhi, despite his greatness, entered the Secret Chamber by the Door of Devils, because he was married early in childhood when the hardly understood the mysteries of life, alone the secrets of sex. When he achieved inner Light, he could have entered by the Gate of Angels, but then he did not enter at all. He renounced sex altogether. This is a rather difficult way of birth control, but it is a right one. All other methods arc not so right as this one. It ensures supreme happiness.

"Sometimes people find that they have to use their hands to help them to get rid of the sexual urge. This is known as masturbation or sex relief. While it is sensual to encourage oneself in this respect, it is far better to experience occasional gratification-not more than once at one lime-than to be continually repressing and fighting against Nature. Howeverr, masturbation should not become a habit, because if excessively indulged in, it is an abuse. Many young people find that a few times a month is all that is necessary, otherwise the energy needed for work is\used up uselessly. "

How to Avoid Conception

It has been fully explained earlier that conception takes place by the union of, spermatozoa with the ovum-, The principle underlying the methods used for birth control is, therefore, to have the sexual intercourse in such manner that there is no chance for the active spermatozoa to meet the ovum. These methods are known as contraceptive methods. The detailed description, advantages and defects of these methods will be given in the succeeding paragraphs and it is for the readers to pick out and use the methods which suit them best.

Coitus Interruptus

It is considered the oldest method. It consists of sudden withdrawal of the erected penis from the vagina before the ejaculation of semen takes place. The advantages of this method are that it demands no special knowledge and ca11s for no apparatus or material. Not only is no expenditure involved but it can also be used in any circumstances. Moreover, the method can be used by the man without consulting or informing his partner. That is why this method is very popular and most commonly used by all classes of people in spite of its defects and its condemnation by medical authorities. This method is not very reliable as the man whose passion is very much excited and who wants to have maximum pleasure, withdraws his penis just before he feels that he cannot control the release of semen further and in this haste some semen may be shed on the vulva and it is then quite possible for some of the spermatozoa to find their way into the vagina. .

Sometimes the height of enjoyment over powers the man who forgets about withdrawal or changes his mind about it and thus the very purpose with which he started it is lost. While using this method the man and the woman are not only deprived of the benefits of vitalising elements present in the vaginal and seminal fluids but they also generally remain dissatisfied in the sexual act. Its regular practice is very likely to produce physical, mental and sexual disorders, both in the man and the woman.

On the whole, this method is considered unsatisfactory and should be avoided as far as possible. However, when no other appliance or material is readily available and it is found necessary' to use this method, every care should be taken to see that not a single drop of semen falls on the external genitals of the female. In case a second intercourse is to be held soon after the first the penis must be thoroughly cleaned or washed so that the semen from the first ejaculation if any, present on the glans or under the foreskin of the penis may not be transmitted into the vagina.

Use of French Leather

Another method of preventing the union of the spermatozoa with the ovum is the use of a sheath, also known as a condom or french leather, by the man. A sheath is a circular tube made of rubber or skin and closed at one end. It is available in three sizes-small, medium and large. The size, which suits the dimensions of the penis, i.e.. star which when worn over the penis, clings to it rightly, should be purchased. . Thus. when the french leather is worn over the penis, it prevents the escape of the semen in the vagina because the semen is shed into the interior of the sheath. The sheaths are kept in rolled up condition by the manufacturers. Just before uniting the sexual organs, the open end of the sheath should be placed on the glans and unrolled on the penis so that it is covered up to the root.

There are two kinds of sheaths-with a teat and without. a teat. The object of the teat is to provide a receptac1e for the dis. charged semen so that there may be no chances for the rubber to burst due to ejaculation of semen. If a sheath without a teat is used, a little space, say about half an inch, should be left at the closed end of the sheath for the semen to escape into. When a sheath with a teat is used, no such precaution is necessary.

Use of a sheath by the man is a reliable method of preventing conception. provided it does not burst and has no holes in it. Even a very minute hole may. allow the spermatozoa to get into the vagina and impregnate the ovum. It is, therefore, very necessary not to use french leather of a cheap quality: only good reliable qualities should be used. The stuff they are made of should be very elastic and tenacious.

It is advisable to use a new sheath each time. However, if because of economy or any other consideration it is found necessary to use the same sheath on several occasions, the washable sheath which is made of thicker material should be purchased. After use it should be washed in cold water, dried thoroughly and stored in powdered chalk. This prolongs the life of the sheath. It should be tested for effects before use every time,

The use of sheath interferes considerably with sensation and diminishes the pleasures of the sexual act. Not only is the sexual desire not fully gratified because of the presence of a foreign body, but there is no exchange of magnetism also between the man and the woman. Moreover, both are prevented from deriving any benefits from the seminal and vaginal fluids, Also, there is always a risk of the sheath rupturing. If some contraceptive jel1y is also employed by the woman coincidentally, it obviates the risk of failure.

As has been stated above, the use of a sheath interferes with sensation and pleasure. To reduce this interference, an abbreviated sheath known as an "AMERICAN TIP" may be used. An American Tip is a modification of the ordinary sheath and when worn on the organ it covers the glans penis only. No doubt the American Tip Causes much less interference with sensation than the ordinary sheath, but the chief drawback in the use of the American Tip is that there is a great risk of its being peeled off the glans penis during the movements of coitus.

Constant sod prolonged use of sheaths is not recommended as it leads to functional disorder& in the man as well as the woman.

Coitus Reservatus

This method can be used by very few persons as a great deal of will power and self control is necessary for its successful completion. The method consists in uniting the sexual organs but avoiding orgasm or ejaculation of semen by the male. This is achieved by remaining passive and withholding from movements. The erection subsides after some time and the organs are separated. This sort of embrace in which the sexual organs are united and then no movements are made lasts for quite a long period-though generally the erection subsides within one hour yet in certain cases the sexual organs remain in tact for many hours. As stated above the majority of men cannot practice it successful1y due to lack of self control. This method is, therefore, not as commonly used as other methods are. Moreover, if frequently used, it leads to congestion of sex organs and other nervous and physical troubles.

Use of Sponge or Plug

This is considered the oldest method used by the female for avoiding conception. A small round piece of sponge of good quality is taken and a silken thread is tied to it. This thread facilitates the removal of the sponge after use. These days rubber sponges with strings attached to them are also available in the market. The sponge is dipped in alum lotion or ordinary water for a short time and then the water is squeezed out. 1t is then inserted in the vagina as deep as possible just before the sexual intercourse so that the mouth of the uterus is covered by this. If a sponge is not readily available, a silken hand kerchief rolled up into a ball or a plug of cotton-wool can also be used for this purpose.

This method is neither harmful nor causes any hindrance in the union and movements of sexual organs, but the main defect in it is that it is not very reliable as some of the semen may remain in the vagina even after the removal of the sponge. This defect can, however. be removed if the sponge is soaked in olive oil or a spermicidal or if it is smeared with contraceptive jelly before use, It is always better if the sponge is not removed and is allowed to remain in its position till the following morning. Use of a dutch before removal of the sponge or plug is also recommended.

After use, the sponge should be washed with soap and water and then immerse in some antiseptic solution. Thereafter, it may be squeezed and kept carefully for use in future.

Use of a Rubber Check Pessary or a Duteh Cap

A chcck-pessary is made of rubber just like a small cap and fits on the neck of the uterus or the cervix as a thimble fits on to the finger. Thus it keeps the spermatozoa away from the uterus. Just like the sponge, a silken tape is also tied to the pessary to facilitate its removal after use.

In the case of a check pessary, it is very necessary that it must be placed in such a way that it covers the cervix. Like french leather, the rubber check pessary is also available in three sizes-large, medium and small. The large size usually fits those who have given birth to a number of children, the medium size ususally fits those who have had one or two deliveries and the small one is meant for females who have not given birth to any child. It may be inserted in the vagina and pushed forward by a finger so that it covers the cervix and its rim tightly clings to the skin. Generally the technique of fitting the pessary and other details regarding its use are enclosed by the manufacturers in the card board packing which contains it. Like the sponge, the use of the pessary offers the minimum interference with the union and movements of sexual organs. It is recommended that before fitting up a pessary. a little spermicidal jelly should be placed in its bowl. This will avoid the chances, if any, of the active spermatozoa to get into the uterus from under the rim of the pessary. Thus, if a check pessary of the right size is properly uses in combination with a spermicidal jelly, as explained above, the chances of conception taking place become very remote. As in the ca'\c of the sponge, it is better if the check pessary is allowed to remain in its place till the next morning still better if a douche is used before its removal.

In certain cases, the check pessary cannot be fitted properly because of a different kind of the formation of the neck of the uterus. Also some persons find it difficult to master the technique of fitting up a check pessary. In such cases the use of a 'Dutch Cap' is recommended. Its method on use is illustrated on pages 139-142.

Like the check pessary, the Dutch cap is made of India rubber. It is circular in shape and looks like a shallow cup. It is manufactured in various sizes and the size which will fit the woman for whom it is intended should be purchased. It is generally inserted in the vagina with its concave side, that is, the hollow side facing outwards. But it does not make: much difference even if it is inserted in the reverse order. The object of using a dutch cap is to block up the whole of the vaginal passage just in front of the neck of the uterus. Another advantage of this cap is that it can be used by those women whose uterus is too deep and cannot be approached by a finger. Douching before its removal and use of a spermicidal chemical along with it is recommended for making this method a success.

Chemical Methods

All the methods described so far act by virtue of their offering a mechanical hindrance to the union of the spermatozoa and the ovum. It seems necessary to give in this book some information about the chemical methods, which aim at the destruction or removal of the spermatozoa after entry into the vagina. Some such chemical is always used which is strong enough to kill the spermatozoa but which at the same time does not injure the cells of the- vaginal and uterine walls. These chemicals are introduced in the vagina in the form of soluble pessaries or ointments, pastes and jellies. The most common chemical used in them is quinine which can be tolerated by many women. The soluble pessaries melt in a few minutes after insertion in the vagina and the spermicidal chemicals spread over the vaginal and uterine walls. Amongst the pastes and jellies, the non-greasy jelly which contains lactic acid is considered the best of all because lactic acid which have a strong action on spermatozoa does not harm the vaginal mucous membrane.

The usual chemical contraceptives are generally not injurious but if their ingredients happen to be very strong or the woman applying them is very sensitive to any of them, they might injure the tissues or cause some irritation to them. It is advisable, therefore, to use only such chemicals as have mild and harmless ingredients. Besides, the use of chemical preparations is not a very reliable method of avoiding conception. These, however, leave a useful purpose when employed in combination with any of the mechanical methods already mentioned.

Before closing this chapter, the reader may be warned against the use of internal medicines frequently advertised or advocated by quacks. These internal medicines not only generally fail to avoid conception but they also sometimes prove very harmful to the entire reproductory system.

THE WEDDING NIGHT

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The wedding night is the best and the brightest night in the life of any man or woman. Before the marriage, it is all a desert. Beyond the marriage, it is all a sea. If you do not make the most of your honeymoon, you will regret it for ever. Too often marriage, under the compulsion of customs, begins as a sort of nightmare in your country. Joys of a happy married life arc gone before we have known them. We do not see them flying in. We only see them flying out. Therefore, if you want to make the best of your life, you must understand your responsibilities on the wedding night.

Bride's Duty

"The woman, to be successful during precoital play, must use her body clearly. The lying down ,position which she may later adopt for the commencement of sexual union is not seductive, and before the sexual organs are joined, she should not be afraid to move about and exhibit herself. By climbing over her husband as she kisses him, she will afford him a new and pleasing view of her breasts. Few women realize that in addition to the genital kiss which can be given in such a manner that the husband obtains glimpses of her hips-always centres of sexual attraction-most men love to have their chest and abdomen caressed and kissed. A woman can also gently turn her husband over and kiss

him up and down the spine. Playful smacks and love bites also act as a stimulus to amorous desires."

Bridegroom's Duty

With marriage starts a wonderful phase of a couple's life. The wedding night presents the first glorious occasion for their blissful sexual intercourse. The fate of a marriage depends on the manner in which the bridegroom and the bride harmonize their feelings and actions on the wedding night.

The man will find that his wife can be roused by kisses on her breasts and nipples. These should begin by gently brushing and then become deeper. His fingers should gently stimulate the clitoris and vulva until he longs for a sexual intercourse. The genital kiss is one of the best means of stimulation. This can be made into a caressing movement of the tongue. This can be prolonged for several minutes until the woman is thoroughly excited.

It is believed that if the husband wins his wife on the wedding night, he wins her forever. On the other hand, any false steps taken on this occasion are considered to make in her heart such wounds as will never heal.

It is, therefore. necessary for the husband to make a very careful and planned approach on this night. Before she can be expected to have physical love for her husband she must have trust and confidence in him. Hence, the husband has to seduce his wife with delicacy and consideration in order to create in her respect and affection for himself. Physical love will then automatically grow and develop with time. The men should, in no case, make haste to quench his thirst of sexual passion on this night.

Bride's Recoil

Although the normal young girl dreams of and anticipates the pleasures of sexual relations, when it comes to actual experience for the first time, some psychological feelings, her cultural and natural modesty make her very sensitive and she usually has an instinctive recoil from her first sexual act. This recoil is to be accounted for by the fact that the wedding night make the beginning of a decisive stage in a woman's life. The hymen which is mostly considered the physical symbol of 'purity' is not the only thing which distinguishes a virgin from a women who has had sexual experience. No doubt, there is some fear of physical pain because of the presence of hymen, but the more important and real reason for the recoil is the anticipation of the perforation of her maidenhood. This fear springs from deeper sources and has a greater significance than the mere anticipation -being slightly hurt physically. The marriage does not give the man the right to do as he chooses, if the bride's modesty and instinctive resistance raise obstacles that are too great for him to seduce her, the consummation of marriage had better be postponed for a night or two. There are, of course, some cases there the girl has very high sexual passions and she is as anxious and eager to receive as the husband is to give. In such cases, everything goes on smoothly on the wedding night. But, such cases should be taken as exceptions and nut the rule.

Arousing More Passion

Gentle persuasion is very necessary and a women, even which surrendering, wishes to some extent to be conquered. The man. having made it clear, to his young wife in every way that he is most considerate of her feelings, should proceed with great tact and understanding to stir and arouse sexual passion in her. This he should begin with ardent and passionate embraces and kisses and indulge in the love play, ie, caressing of erotogenic zones, including the vulva and clitoris as descried in the previous chapter. It may, however, again be emphasized here that the husband should not make haste to quence the thirst of his sexual excitement straightway, when the woman's passion has not been aroused. As already mentioned, he must remember that the 'woman is not as easily aroused sexually as the man. He should think of penetration of his organ in the vagina only 'when he is satisfied that the woman is fully prepared for the sexual act. The characteristics which indicate the woman's preparedness for the sexual union have been mentioned in the previous chapter. The husband should, therefore, proceed in a very skilful manner to initiate sexual union on the wedding night.

The Defloration of Hymen

It has already been explained that the presence of hymen should not be considered as a proof of the virginity of a girl. In cases where the hymen is present, it is usually ruptured at the time of first entry or penis in the vagina. As a great pain is felt by the girl at the time, the husband should nod insert his organ with great force. It is better to tell her about this pain beforehand so that she may keep herself prepared for it. It is advisable to apply some lubricating substance like vaseline to male organ before penetration. If the hymen is soft and weak, it gets ruptured with a light thrust of penis and the pain is tolerable and soon forgotten. But in ease where the membrane is very tense and strong the wife gets immense pain. The husband should in such cases, exercise extreme care and slowly increase the pressure or his movements till the hymen is ruptured. He should at the same time keep her busy in talk by using very soothing words of love and devotion. If there is some bleeding, it should not be worried about. The bleeding is natural and the wound gets healed up by itself. If, however. the defloration of he men does not take place in spite of well executed repeated attempts, medical aid should he sought and the work entrusted to an experienced lady surgeon. The lady surgeon wi1l remove the membrane by means of an operation which is quite simple and painless. Such cases are, no doubt, very rare. It may again he impressed upon the young husband that he should not make the first penetration with brutal force as this produces not only immense pain but is also likely to cause severe hemorrhage. This may also induce considerable shock and lead to other psychological1y harmful consequences. .

Before closing this chapter. it may he repeated that the husband must remember that desire for physical love in the woman seldom exists unless mental love precedes it. He should therefore seduce his wife with delicacy and consideration. Secondly, he must by caresses and love. play stir his bride's passion to the required pitch. Some lubricating substance like vaseline may be used during the first few unions or till the organs get fairly adjusted to each other. The husband should exercise extreme care and avoid all roughness while at tempting to rupture the hymen.

THE CAUTION IN CONCEPTION

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The ideal in sex is that both the loversshould experience the highest peak of sensation simultaneously. Rhythmic strokes and deep breathing. like deep diving, \cad the swimmers in the Sea of Sex to the Rainbow Island of momentary but the most momentous merriment. Fully abandoning themselves to the exciting experience the lovers share the supreme moment. If the love is true, the communion of body and soul is complete.

The desire for union should be mutual to yie1d the hest fruits of the best children. Sexual intercourse should be saved from the deadly hand of dullness. Variety should he found, discovered or invented. Approach should be unconventional. The more imaginative the methods, the more exquisite the pleasure.

How Often

Says Dr. R. Swaroop, M.B.,B.S.: "The question of how often connection should occur is one which is discussed in practical1y every book on popular sex educe1tion. One man wanted to know if twice a month was too often at the age of forty-five, while another asked if it would harm him to have union twice in one day. These are typical queries and they both show one thing-fear. Men are always wondering if any harm will ensure if they use sex according to their

desires. The fact is that there will be no il1 effects. The answer to the eternal question of . How often?' is, therefore. that when desire is mutual it should be satisfied. For some healthy lovers, this may mean sexual union once a" week or even once a month; for others, perhaps half a dozen times in a certain week. Al1 men and women differ sexually and there are no rules in their personal matter. Each must be guided by individual needs and find the happy medium. The only point to remember is that when fully satisfied the couple should rest; for a second sex act is more fatiguing when it follows immediately upon the first. The sexual appetite should be regarded in the same way as the appetite for food. When one has a great meal. one does not require another until hunger returns. If one has eaten heavily, a longer interval between meals is required, but by no stretch of imagination could one he considered to have harmed health permanently. And it is the same with sex. Do not worry about the number of unions which take place, but be guided by natural instincts and needs."

Sex becomes harmful when it is downgraded to sheer lust and sex-starvation. Then the lovers are forced to adopt all types of mechanical gadgets for artificial self-stimulation. Those drugged with lust can be wretched as those drugged with liquor.

"No one denies that the chief end of sex is reproduction of the species, but everything which has an end, also has a beginning and a middle. In this case the beginning and the middle of sex are the expression of love and the giving and receiving of pleasure . Thus the children of a union are the product of love, and not the cause of it''.

General1y, the reproductive life of a nun starts from the age of 17 and ends at 60 and that of a woman ranges from 15 to 45. There may be however, be many exceptions till the above ages may he taken as approximate in the case of the majority of men and women. As has been described earlier, during this period the testicles in the man produce spermatozoa while the ovaries in the women produce ova or eggs. It will be interesting to note that while the semen of the male general1y contains millions of microscopic spermatozoa, in the female only one ovum matures in a record of 28 days or one month. Thus, at the time of sexual intercourse millions of these sperms are discharged in the vagina and if only one of these unites with the ovum produced by the ovaries conception takes place. It is, however, not necessary that every sexual intercourse must result in conception as there may be no spermatozoa present in the semen discharged by the man or there may be no ovum awaiting the arrival of spermatozoa. Besides in some cases certain vaginal and other conditions may render conception unlikely, flow ever, if there is no permanent defect in the husband and the wife. conception does take place sooner or laier. As the new life is always the result of the union between a spermatozoon (or a sperm) and an ovum, it would be desirable to state here some more facts about these .

Spermatozoa : Sperms

As has been described earlier, the function of the testicles in the man is to produce semen. The semen ie a thick and somewhat milky liquid with a characteristic odour. The two main constituents of the semen are the sperms 'and a mucous fluid including some seminal fluids from other glands. The sperms cannot be seen by the naked eye. They can be seen actively moving in a countless number if a drop of semen is examined under a microscope as illustrated in the first chapter. Each sperm is an individual entity end when seen under a very powerful microscope, i.e.. in a highly magnified condition, it will be observed that it consists of three distinct parts; egg-shaped head, an intermedi:1te segment called the body, and a long tail. It is by means of the tail that the sperm moves forward in the seminal fluid. So long as the sperms remain in the testicles, they cannot move and are inert. They get motility by mixing up with seminal fluids from the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland. The mixture is called semen. The sperms retain this motility in the vagina and can remain alive there for about a week. When the semen is discharged in the vagina at the mouth of the uterus, millions of the spermatozoa begin to move towards the cavity of the uterus very slowly. Each of these sperms is capable of impregnating t he ovum and only one of them performs this function. The remaining sperm" are no longer of any use and perish.

Ova or eggs

As has already been stated, every healthy woman possesses two ovaries, one lying on the right and the other on the left side of uterus, in the abdominal cavity, At the approach of puberty, the ovaries grow rapidly and assume their normal shape and size. Before that, they are rudimentary in form. Appearance

of the hair in public region at puberty is the first indication for their growth in a girl. Soon thereafter starts the process of menstruation which indicates that the ovaries have started their function of producing ova. The production of ova which begins at puberty continues for a period of about thirty years. This, however, stops during pregnancy and lactation.

It has been explained earlier that ova develop from cells which originate in ovaries. Normally, once ovum ripens in a period of four weeks alternately in each ovary. When the graafian surrounding the ovum breaks, the ovum shed by the ovary is picked up by the claw like fringe of the fallopian tube through which it is pushed towards the uterus. After having reached the uterus, the ovum remains there for about a fortnight. It is not impregnated by a sperm during this period, it leaves the uterus and passes out of the woman's body through her vagina.

An ovum is much larger than a spermatozoon. It is like a small dot, just visible to the naked eye. It is a spherical mass of protoplasm with nucleus somewhere near the centre. It is surrounded by a cell wall which has extremely small pores and canals. It is through these pores that the spermatozoa enter the ovum to reach the nucleus, and if the ovum is fertilized, it gets nourishment through these pores.

Sperm-Ovum-Union

We have already seen that at the time of sexual intercourse the semen discharged in the vagina, on and, in front of the mouth of the uterus, and thus millions of spermatozoa reach the vagina. From the vagina they make their way through the cervix into the uterus; on many occasions they even move up to the

fallopian tubes. It is generally in the fallopian tubes that a sperm meets the Ovum and impregnates it and the fertilized ovum usually develops in the uterus.

In most cases, the impregnated Ovum travels down into the uterus and soon establishes contact with the woman's blood circulation which supplies nourishment required for its development into a baby. This contact is made through the uterine mucous membrane. Before describing in detail the developments of the impregnated ovum, it seems advisable to tell the reader the reason for multiple births i.e., birth of twins, triples, etc., and also something about extra-uterine pregnancy.

Multiple Births

As has been explained earlier, Usually a graafian follicle contains one ovum which again has a single nucleus. However, in some very rare causes, two or more ova arc discharged at the bursting of a single follicle or one ovum contains two nuclei. Obviously, if two or more ova arc discharged by n single

follicle and all of them get fertilized, multiple births take place. As the Ova are impregnated by different sperms, the sex and appearance of the children thus born ma be different. Twins arc also born when two nuclei are present in one ovum, and both of them are fertilized by the same sperm. In this case, as both come from the union of the same egg and the same sperm, they generally have the same sex and features,

Extra-uterine Pregnancy

Normally, and most frequently, the impregnated ovum lodges itself in the uterus. However, there are not infrequent exceptions to this rule and in certain cases it may lodge itself on the ovary or in one of the follopian tubes or even in some part of the abdomen. This is called extra-uterine pregnancy-ovarian, tubal and abdominal respectively. In view of the unnatural surroundings, the impregnated ovum dies soon but, if it keeps on developing it may endanger the expectant mother's life. Such cases should, therefore, as soon as they are detected, be reported to the medical authorities who will remove the irregular formations by means of surgical operation.

Development of Impregnated Ovum

The impregnated human egg in the uterus starts growing immediately and evel1 in a period of three days after impregnation it becomes large enough to be easily seen by the naked eye. It develops into a full baby in a period of 280 days. During the first three to four months the impregnated ovum is known us embryo. Thereafter, it assumes a definite shape of a baby and is ca1led 'foetus'.

During the first few weeks, the growth of the embryo ie extremely rapid. In the second week, the weight of embryo is one grain and its length reaches the fourteenth part of an inch. By the end of the first month, it becomes about half an inch long and looks as large as a bee. During the first half of the second month, the rudiments of the spine, the heart, -the head and arms and legs become distinguishable. Then, small signs of nose, mouth, car, eyes, etc., appear and the weight increases. Its length at the end of second month is about one and a half inches but it is not possible to ascertain the sex at this stage. The sex becomes apparent at the end of the third month or the beginning of the fourth month. During the third month, formation of very soft bones takes place. The arms, legs, fingers and toes come out. The embryo takes a definite shape and is called 'foetus'. It is about three inches in length at this stage. As already stated, the sex is also established by the end of this month or the beginning of the next month. During the fourth and the fifth months, the foetus increases in size.. Its length becomes eight to ten inches and its weight is about ten ounces. The foetus also becomes very active and begins to move. Its movements are felt by the mother. In ,the sixth month, its length and weight become about twelve inches and one pound respectively. During the seventh month all parts are completed and it is twelve to fifteen inches long a and weighs about three to five pounds. Sometimes the baby is born during this month, but is very weak and delicate. However, it can live and have normal health if kept and nourished with great care. By the ninth month, i.e.. its full term of 280 days, it attains full perfection and measures from sixteen to twenty-four inches and weighs from six to nine pound. At this stage, the baby is expelled under the pressure of uterine contractions, the details of which will be described later.

Pacenta and Umbilical Cord

When the impregnated ovum reaches the uterus, a solid mass consisting of blood vessels is formed on the walls of the uterus. This mass is called placenta. It grows steadily and assumes the shape of a disc about one and a half inches in diameter. During gestation, i.e., the period between conception and birth, one side of the placenta adheres to the inner walls of uterus while the other side is connected with the foetus vessels by means of a lube containing umbilical blood vessels. This tube is called the umbilical cord or the cord. The nourishment and oxygen furnished by the mother are brought. to the foetus through this cord which also brings back the waste matter. After the birth of baby the placenta is detached from the wall of the uterus and is driven out through the vagina under pressure of uterine contractions.

Changes During Pregnancy

At the time of the growth of the embryo in the uterus, many changes take place in the woman's body. When the impregnated ovum had lodged itself in the uterus, the ovaries suspend the function of maturing ova and thus the process of menstruation is also suspended may, however, be stated here that, though menstruation stops during pregnancy, its absence should not always be taken as a proof of conception having taken place, as it sometimes also stops because of certain other defects in the woman's body.

During pregnancy, the breasts of the woman swell and become firm and somewhat hard. The nipples enlarge and their '.shade and that of the spherical portion surrounding them becomes darker. It is always better. to support the heavy breasts during pregnancy by means of a well-fitting brassiere. In the fourth month and thereafter, a few drops of milk can be squeezed out if some pressure is put on the breasts.

After conception the abdomen of the woman gradually increases in size and she puts on weight. This is due to the fact that the volume of the uterus increases with that of the foetus. The other organs in the abdomen "re pushed upwards and sideways and the abdomen begins to bulge out. This pressure on the organs in the abdominal cavity leads to certain troubles in her respiratory and digestive systems. That is why during the first few months of pregnancy I she has loss of appetite, occasional constipation and also experiences vomiting. Sometimes during the first few weeks, she gets vomiting immediately after she has taken something. The disorders should not be much worried about as pregnancy is not an illness. Some depressions like long lines appear on the lower part of the abdomen and also some discoloured patches on the 'groins, i.e., portions between the belly and the thighs. Though these lines and patches fade after the birth of the baby, their traces can easily be observed even thereafter.

Due to the enlarged uterus, there is a great pressure on the urinary bladder and the woman has to pass urine very frequently. The colour of vulva also becomes deeper during pregnancy.

The pregnant woman usually feels an irresistible desire for certain special foods and drinks. Sometimes she even craves for certain extraordinary substances which a person in normal state of health would never dream of eating. .Thus, in many cases, you will find the pregnant woman taking clay, charcoal, chalk, sand and blotting paper. These cravings of the pregnant women differ to such a great extent that it is not possible to draw a list of the articles. Some long for sweets and fruit, while others desire pepper. pickles and other sour ea tables, I t has not been possible so far to determine the exact causes for the cravings. There arc no doubt a few theories;

but none of them is quite satisfactory.

Hygienic Precautions

As h.15 been described earlier, the woman is likely to have certain disorders of digestion during the first few months of pregnancy. Moreover the mineral elements, mainly iron and calcium, arc very much needed for the development of the foetus in the uterus. The pregnant woman should therefore have light diet which can be easily digests and which contains iron and calcium. She should have milk, butter, fresh green vegetables and fruit frequently and in good quantities. This wilt not only help her in supplying the requisite nourishment to the foetus, but will also avoid constipation. If, however, a pregnant woman suffers from constipation, she should not use very strong purgatives but should have only 8 mild laxative. The pregnant woman should also get her urine tested regularly so that it does not contain large quantities of albumin. She should also not take big quantities of such diet as contains albumen. If she" has to pass small quantities of urine very frequently, she should take barley water.

The pregnant woman should not use very tight fitting garments. Her clothes should be light and loose. The breasts should be supported with a pair of brassieres. All constrictions' must be avoided.

She should not run, jump or lift heavy weights as this sometimes leads to abortion. She should also not pull anything towards herself with great force and should always go upstairs very slowly. All such movements as put a pressure on the uterus should be avoided. She should not do a any heavy work and should stop working before she begins to feel tired. She must have walk in the open air every day so that she acts enough supply of oxygen needed for herself and the - baby.

Above all, she must remain happy nn4 have high and pious thoughts. The husband should rather take care that she does not remain worried or angry on any account during pregnancy as the thoughts of the pregnant woman have their effect on the child in the uterus.

The pregnant woman should periodical1y get herself examined by an -experienced lady doctor. This will avoid the occurrence of any complications at later stages. If, however, a pregnant woman falls ill. she should be treated very carefully and the doctor should be informed that she is pregnant.

Sexual Intercourse during Pregnancy

There is a difference of opinion amongst sexologists on the question of having intercourse during pregnancy. Some hold the view that sexual intercourse during pregnancy is very harmful to the expectant mother and the coming child and that the uterine contractions which accompany coitus may also provoke a miscarriage. According to them, sexual intercourse should be avoided through the entire period of pregnancy at all costs. Other sexologists who are in a majority, are of the view that sexual intercourse, if performed in a certain manner, during the first five or six months of pregnancy does not do any harm to the woman. . In many cases. the women have mort desire for and derive more pleasure from the sexual union during pregnancy. This is because previously the fear of pregnancy prevented them from giving way to their natural desire for sexual enjoyment, but after conception no such fear exists. On

She must be given complete rest during the last two months of pregnancy and also for at least two months after the delivery. Sex relations must be entirely suspended during this period the other hand, if the husband is separated sexually from his wife for months, he does not get from her the satisfaction that he desires and might even like to go elsewhere for fulfilling his desire.

The sexual act may, .therefore, be performed . during the first six to seven months of pregnancy, provided the following precautions are observed :

1. Union should be effected with less frequency only when it is absolutely necessary. The longer the period' of rest, the better it is for both of them. The least difference between the two unions should be one week.

2. The man should be very careful to see that no pressure is put on her stomach and pubic region. He may support his body on his arms during the first few months. But, after the third month, the normal man-superior position should be changed to woman superior position or to the posterior. lateral position, i.e., the woman lying on her side with back towards the man. These have been described in the chapter on 'Sexual Union'.

3. During pregnancy, the sexual "Union should generally be had when the woman desires it herself. The man should never force it on her when he meets with resistance from her.

4. She must be given complete rest during the last two months of pregnancy and also for a at least two months after the delivery. Sex relations must be entirely suspended during this period.

Birth of a Baby

Though delivery is a very 'vast subject that cannot be discussed in detail within the scope of this book, yet it seems necessary to give some general information about it in a book like this. When the child has completed its full term of 280 days in the uterus, the muscles of the uterus begin to contract and the uterine contractions enable the child to come out through the vagina. These contractions take place occasionally during the period fifteen to twenty days before the delivery. At first. the contractions are slight and cause a little pain. But at the time. ,of delivery, they become more and more frequent and violent, and the cervix comes down to the vagina. The woman also takes efforts to contract the already dominal muscles to enable the uterus to expel its contents. The bag of water bursts and this pushes the head of the baby to the vulva. The vu1va also expands and further efforts and' uterine contractions enable the head and neck to come out. There is then a brief pause. With the next contractions comes out the baby. The woman now feds immense relief. Usually, as soon as the baby comes out, it cries, which is Ii sign of its having begun to breathe. Even though the baby has come out, it remains connected with the women through the umbilical cord. The cord is cut and tied by a string by the mid-wife or the lady doctor who is in attendance on the woman. After about half an hour-sometimes an hour or more,-further uterine contractions take place and detach the placenta from the walls of the uterus. The placenta is thus driven out with the cord through the vagina. This completes the delivery which lasts from fifteen to twenty hours if it is the first delivery. If the woman has already borne children, the time taken is generally much less-say, four to eight hours.

Care after Child-birth

In many cases, particularly after the first delivery, the vaginal opening gets cuts. These should be got stitched by an experienced lady doctor immediately. If there are my complications, the doctor or nurse attending the case will themselves look into. However if the doctor is not available at the time of the delivery, the woman should be got examined by the doctor even after child. birth to make sure that there is no complication. Lack of space does net permit the description of various possible complications.

Care in Child Bed

After the cord has been tied and cut the child begins its independent life. The woman had awaited this moment anxiously for nine'" long months while she carried her child in the uterus. She should be given something warm to drink and left to take rest. As regards the period for which the woman should re main' in bed after child-birth, customs of different people vary very widely. From the physiological point of view, the woman should remain in bed till her genital organs have returned to their normal state and have regained their strength. This normally takes a period of five to seven weeks. The woman who gets up too soon after her confinement runs the risk of getting one or the other complication, e.g., displacement or prolapsus of uterus. The strain of labour exhausts the woman's system and, moreover, she has to feed the baby with her milk. She must, therefore, be given complete rest and nutritious diet. She should take plenty of milk, ghee or butter,cheese, green vegetables, fruit and' other such eatables as are easily digestible. During this period i. e., unless the genitals of the woman have returned to their normal state and have regained their strel1gth, the sexual acts must not be performed. The conjugal relation had better be resumed only after the re-appearance of menstruation. Generally, the process of menstruation reappears in a period of two to three months but in certain cases it takes from four to six months or even more. Even if she makes satisfactory progress during confinement, she must be got examined by a doctor periodically, say, once in ten days or so.

Feeding the Baby

The baby's natural food is mother's milk. This is its best diet. Though there are some substitutes for it, none equals it. The baby should not be given mother's milk immediately after birth. During the first ten to twelve hours, the baby may be given a little quantity of fresh water sweetened with sugar or glucose. It docs not need any food during this period. While nursing the baby regularity should be observed. Some mothers breast-feed their babies as and when they cry. This has harmful effects on the mother and the child who begins to suffer from indigestion. . So, she must observe regularity for this purpose and may feed the baby after every two to third hours. Breast-feeding also helps the uterus to its normal state. After each nursing, any surplus milk in the breast should be drawn off with hand and the nipples should be washed with warm water and dried. She should try to avoid nursing the baby when lying. The nipples and breasts should not be stretched to the baby, but the baby should always be brought up to the breasts. Nursing in lying condition or stretching of nipples and breasts lead to their becoming flabby and hanging. The baby should therefore be supported at the time of feeding in such a manner that there is no downward pull to the breasts. If the production of milk in the woman is too much or very little according to the requirements, medical help should be sought to make it normal

Proper care should also be taken that the baby and its mother get plenty of fresh air and natural light. The room occupied by them must be kept very clean and free from flies, mosquitoes, insects, etc. The baby's body should occasionally be massaged with pure butter or ghee or mustard oil and it should be given a bath daily-with hot or cold water, according to the season. Its dress should be absolutely clean and quite loose.

It is a fact that the nursing period is very difficult for a young mother who has to give up her pleasures and recreations. But at the same lime there is a great thrill and emotion in her when she finds by her side the child she has given birth to. She willingly forgoes her pleasures for the sake of her baby.

THE CLIMAX OF THE COITUS

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There is a tide in the sexual intercourse. Taken at the flood. it leads to the great fortune of a climax which, to the persons interlinked with golden chains of love, is more valuable at the moment than any other possession in the world. There cannot be a greater failure and frustration for a man or woman than inability to reach the sexual climax.

Role of the Woman

''Books, magazines and newspapers", says Or. R. Swaroop, in Increase Your Sexual Efficiency, "compete with each other in instructing women how to become beautiful, but they rarely mention something which is more vital^__how to captivate and enchant a lover by the skilfu1 use of the feminine body. It is notorious that pretty women make poor bedmates, for beauty fades while sexual technique improves by experience. A voluptuous female body is less thrilling to the man than an ordinary one which is well versed love making''.

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Women expect to receive love, but do not feel duty bound to return it too. It is wrong to believe that a woman's role is purely passive and that she has no active responsibility in the matter. These one-sided notions make men unfaithful to their wives to their wives. Men can save their wives and themselves from being unfaithful to each other -by following the exact marriage technique as described in this book. .

The Technique of Undressing

" It is not enough merely to undress and lie down like a lifeless doll. Disrobing itself should be artistically performed, for all men like to watch a woman undress provided she uses delicacy and art. We may condemn the girls on the stage who discard their clothes one by one and ''strip-tease'' men into a high state of erotic desire, but we cannot deny that they achieve their purpose. There is a lesson here for the wife. By removing her clothes in a subtle manner. and sometimes retaining certain garments for her husband to take off, not only will she encourage his desire for her, but she herself will obtain a thri1l out of his attempts to remove them. Any idea that nudity is not decent in married life, or that behaviour is childish, should be cast aside."

Desire is also increased by u woman pre tending to deny her body to the lover. This brings out the primitive male instinct of chasing his prey. Simultaneously it satisfies the female longing to be wooed and won, pursued and forced into submission. In this rough manhandling, care must be exercised not to damage the erect male organ, because it is one liable to injury more as erect than as flaccid. Also, the female breasts need a very careful handling when love-wrestling is to be undertaken.

Preparation for Coitus

The act of sexual union is known by various names, e.g" the marital act, the coitus and the sex act. The object" of this act is to produce healthy children. To obtain this objective. it is necessary that the act is performed in a perfect manner. The successful consummation of this act, which consists of the man and the woman reaching orgasm simultaneously, increases married happiness to a great extent. Orgasm in woman is the stage when she reaches her climax and gets the highest sexual pleasure in a sexual union. It corresponds to 'ejaculation of semen' in the man. The woman usually needs more time to reach her climax and if the discharge of semen takes place before the woman reaches orgasm, her passion which has been stirred and aroused remains unsatisfied. As after the discharge' of semen the penis shrinks to its unexcited condition, the man is not then able to help the woman to reach her climax. The reader may just think of the plight of the throbbing girl whose passion has been stirred and who is badly in need of love, but has to turn away in a hopeless and sad condition. The happiness, the pleasure she had longed for has vanished in no time. She feels somewhat offended and her respect for the man gradually decreases as he could not give her the bliss and happiness she was entitled to. This dissatisfaction on the part of the woman, if continued for a considerable period, causes certain mental and physical diseases in her. Not only that, in some cases, though these may be very rare, the husband's inability to control the release of semen till his wife reaches climax becomes a cause of her having illegal relations with other men to have her sex passion satisfied.

Thus, it is very essential that the man should be able to control the discharge of his semen till his sexual partner reaches her climax. It is not a question of having retentive power for five minutes or seven minutes or ten. The criterion for success is to be able to retain the semen till one's partner reaches her climax. The blissful sexual intercourse consists in their reaching orgasm simultaneously or in any case the women's reaching it before her partner. For a healthy young man this is not very difficult to achieve provided he has knowledge of the methods and acts by which to stir the passion in a woman to n great height to enable her to reach orgasm once or twice before his semen is discharged. That is why the married love is called an 'art'. If the young husband follow the procedure of coitus described here, he will not have to face the catastrophe. On the other hand, the lover of the partners will increase and their union will be a noble success. The young girl will feel proud of her husband and will have passionate feelings for him.

Love Play

It is essential that the nun and the woman should be free from any worry and fear of disturbance from any source when they decide to have sexual union. They should, therefore, use a room where they can have the maximum amount of freedom. This is one of the main reasons for performing the sex act during night. The room should be neat and clean and deco rated according to taste. One may. if desired, have dim light in the room hut on full moon nights it becomes unnecessary if there are windows or ventilators to admit cold rays of light coming from the moon.

As has already been stated, it takes some time for arousing the sexual desire in the woman. The man, after having taken the woman in privacy, should proceed with caution. He has to excite her passion by sweet talks of deep affection, embraces and kisses: fondling of her breast, lips. thighs and the vulva and tickling her clitoris by finger tips. While doing all this, the husband should tactfully keep a watch as to which of his actions are liked sensitiveness varies with each individual. Some like having nipples of their breasts rubbed very passionately while others find it painful. Some like kisses on one part of the body while others like them on other parts. So, the husband should at 'the time of love play also keep a note for future guidance of the actions she loves most.

He should therefore make her sit or lie comfortable on bed and should himself close to her. Then he may talk to her in soft and sweet tones about his love for her, or about the ornaments or dress she is wearing or any other topic in which she is interested. He should pass his arms round her to have a light embrace and kiss her on the forehead, the check and the lower lips and also begin to fondle and press her breasts and thighs. Having t us stirred the passion in the woman to some extent the man should request her to remove clothes from her body. He should also remove his clothes and help her in doing so. When she has removed her clothes, the man must shower her with kisses, caresses and embraces on different parts of her body, What the man finds that there is a good response to embraces and kisses from the woman, he should proceed further to oilier more secret portions of her body, lie should admire the beauty of her breasts and should take them in his hands. The rubbing of nipples and parts surrounding them with the tip-; of fingers, sucking and biting of the nipples works like an electric current to rouse the passion in the woman. This is because the nipples arc connected by means of nerves to the uterus. After fondling with breasts for a few minutes, the man should brine his hand to her thighs and with a little pressure pull them apart slightly to enable his hand to reach the vulva. He may caress the vulva once or twice and then begin to tickle her clitoris with the tip of his finger. He will notice that her vulva has by now become slightly wet. This is one of the indications that the woman is now prepared for the sexual intercourse. At this stage the woman leaves her body to the entire control of the man and strongly desires that her breasts, lips, vulva and clitoris be fondled by quick movements-she herself begins to kiss, embrace the man and moves her fingers in his hair and also at other parts of his body-she casts anxious glances and shy looks at him and her eyes narrow down her breasts become hard and nipples erect - her vulva becomes wet with a slippery fluid. All these symptoms indicate that the woman's desire has been extremely aroused and that she is fully prepared to have the union of sex organs.

Union of Sex Organs

This is the time for the blissful intercourse for which the partner had anxiously waited and longed for. Many poses can be adopted for the union of sexual organs but here the most natural one will he described. Some other poses will 'be explained later. The woman lies flat on her back with her legs wide apart and slightly bent so as to facilitate the introduction of the male organ in the vagina. Cushions may be placed under her loins to raise the pelvis of the woman. This helps the penetration of penis being very deep in the vagina. When the woman has taken this position the man sits on his knees between her legs and slowly bends on her giving deep pressures, embraces and kisses. At this stage, his organ touches her vulva. Then he should take his stiff organ in his hand, if necessary, and should tickle the clitoris with the glans penis for some moments. This will arouse great sensations of pleasure in the woman and she will desire immediate insertion of the penis. He should force his stiff penis by light pressure movements, till it smoothly goes deep inside. When it is her first or second union, i.e., when the vagina is very tight and the hymen is present, special care should be taken at the time of penetration. For detailed precautions to be taken and the procedure to he adopted in that case, please see the next chapter on 'Wedding Night'.

Movements and Orgasm

The union of the sexual organs should be considered to have taken place when the entire length of the penis is tightly encased in the vagina. The man should now bring out, say half of his penis slowly and again insert it deep inside. This may be done once or twice and then he should keep the mate organ pressed hard in the vagina and remain passive himself. It is now the woman's turn to be active and in most cases the woman is unable to resist her passion and she herself begins to move in a swing-like circular motion. She gradual1y, increases the speed of these movements making them very quick to reach her climax.. This is the critical time when the husband should manage to restrain -himself. This he can do by keeping himself busy with fondling her breasts or by keeping his thoughts elsewhere or by holding his breath-he learns it best by experience. The movements of the woman from below enable the glans penis touch the mouth of the uterus which creates pleasing sensation in the woman. When the notices that the woman is about to reach her orgasm-this can be found from her very quick circular movements, her rapid breath and sudden whispers-he should start his movement s also, He should bring out a portion of his penis and give a light stroke. He should slowly and steadily increase the frequency and force of his movements. The stage of orgasm in the woman reaches-the vagina of the woman relaxes and contracts again and again-the mouth of the uterus opens and closes convulsively-her pulse and respiration become very rapid and she finds herself totally exhausted. The man, if he has not ejaculated at the time of her climax should increase the speed of the movements to effect the discharge of his semen. A union of this kind, i.e., where the man discharges his semen with or after the orgasm of the woman, is considered entirely successful and both are relaxed mentally and physically though they have rapid breaths and feel exhausted. Another important point may be mentioned here, i.e., if in any case the man gets discharged just before the woman reaches her climax, he should not break the union of the sex organs but should keep the penis pressed in the vagina. The woman will continue her movements and will reach orgasm by her own action because with the presence of semen in the vagina the woman at that stage gets orgasm immediately.

Withdrawal after Orgasm

After the woman has reached orgasm and the man discharged his semen, the male' organ should not be brought out of the vagina all at once. The sex organs shou1d be kept united till the penis maintains its stiffness or so long as they desire. The vagina1 walls suck up some of the semen discharged by the man and the glans takes some of the vaginal fluids. The semen of the man contains some vitalizing, nerve-stimulating and soothing elements. The' absorption of these elements by the woman through her vaginal walls is one of the main reasons of her putting on flesh and becoming very charming soon after marriage. The vaginal fluids secreted by the woman, if absorbed through the glans, are considered to be healthful and beneficial to the man. Moreover, the union of organs for some time after orgasm is very helpful in bringing about concepation in the woman.

Sleep after Coitus

If the intercourse has been to the entire satisfaction of the man as we1l as the woman, the relaxation of the nerves in their bodies is very marked. They feel the desire of stretching their limbs and resting their bodies. They immediately get natural, deep sleep which is always restorative and refreshing. After availing themselves of such sound sleep, they get up in a very bright and happy mood.

Various Ways of Sexual Union

The sexual act can be performed in various positions. In some books, it is stated that there are sixty-four or eighty-four asanas or poses. All of them are not practicable. Only some of them may be adopted properly. The position a1ready described in detail, i.e., the woman lying on her back, is the most natural one, but, as has been explained in the chapter on Sexual Organs, the length of the penis or the depth of the vagina varies from individual to individual. If the glans of the penis when it is fully inserted in the vagina just touches the mouth of the uterus the combination of 1ength is considered best. That is why, while se1ccting a life partner, due consideration is given to one's body and general health. For those who have equal length as mentioned above "the woman on her back" pose is considered the best. This is also called the man superior position. The couple may, however, if they so desire, adopt other poses a1so occasionally for the sake of variety.

But, where the woman's vaginal canal is not so long as the man's organ. the union while she is lying on, her back is painful to her and if the difference in the sizes is great it may even cause injury to her internal structure. In such cases, the woman-superior pose is considered suitable. The man lies flat on his back and the woman remains over and above him. This pose enables the man to remain passive and the woman takes the active part. She can move freely and help herself to reach climax. The woman can in this position so control her movements that the male organ does not cause any pain or injury to her. Other poses suitable in this state of affairs can be adopted if the couple lie on their sides during intercourse because in that case the penetration of penis is not very deep. The posterior position, i.e., when the woman's back ie turned towards the man, is recommended. Deep penetration is not possible and the man's hands remain free for love play. This pose is very helpful to pregnant women as there is neither any pressure on the abdomen nor the penetration is deep.

On the other hand, there are cases when the depth of the vaginal canal is longer than the male organ and the union is not very pleasurable to the woman. In such a case the man-superior position may be adopted and an additional cushion placed under her loins. Instead of keeping the legs slightly bent she should draw up her knees almost to her breasts. In this position the penetration is very deep and the vagina is shortened by about half an inch. The clitoris is also raised towards the penis and the glans touches the mouth of the uterus. The woman reaches her climax soon and there are great chances

of impregnation. Very deep penetration can also be obtained when the woman bends aver and the organ is inserted from behind. The woman may kneel on the bed and rest on her elbows and may even put her head 011 the pillows. She may even stand and then bend over the bed. The penis, when inserted from behind in this way, goes very deep inside.

Frequency of Coitus

No hard and fast rules can be fixed for the frequency of sexual intercourse. There is a very great difference between individuals in this respect. Many factors like profession, climate, physical strength, requirements of partner, etc" have to be kept in mind while fixing the frequency. What is normal for one couple may be very harmful for the other. Every individual should therefore, determine for himself as to what limit would be suitable. There is one golden rule which should be the guiding factor in each case and that is. so long as the man and the woman feel refreshed, relaxed and happy after the coitus, they should consider themselves within the limits. On the other hand, if they begin to feel physical and mental discomfort and fatigue after coitus, they should consider this a warning that they are crossing the limit and the frequency should be decreased to avoid disastrous consequences of excess.. In view of the above, no set rules can be fixed for all. In general, however, persons having, normal health and temperament may have coitus twice a week up to the age of 35 years and once a week thereafter.

Duration of Coitus

Like frequency, the duration of coitus varies from individual to individual. In some, it lasts for a few moments while others take half an hour or even more. Thus generally it ranges from a few minutes to half an hour or so. Duration which lasts till the woman reaches her first orgasm-as she may have two or more orgasms in one union- should be considered proper. When the man's discharge of semen precedes the woman's orgasm, it should be considered a defect and steps should be taken for its removal. This defect in the man is known as pre maturity and further details about its cure will be mentioned in another chapter.

Time of Coitus

No particular time can be fixed for having sexual intercourse. Any time suited to the couple will be proper if it meets the following requirements:

(I) There should be no fear of disturbance or interruption of any kind

(ii) There should be ample time to have complete rest after coitus.

(iii) The stomach should neither be full nor absolutely empty ie. there should be a difference of 2 to 4 hours from the time of taking meals.

The above requirements are generally fulfilled at night and it is for this reason that nights are preferred for this purpose.

When Not to Have Coitus

When a person has any worry, fear or anger, i.e., when the peace of mind is disturbed.

When a person is not physically fit, it when one is suffering from headache, fever, or any other disease or even when body is fatigued or exhausted.

When one is very hungry or has a loaded stomach.

During the period of menstruation, the couple should not have coitus. The man might get some disease if the penis comes in contact with menstrual blood and the woman is also likely to get some injury if sexual act is performed during this period.

One should avoid coitus as far as possible, when the woman is pregnant. Its frequency, however, must be decreased considerably during this period. For details about coitus during pregnancy, see chapter on 'Col1cepation' .

THE FINE FEMALE FACTORY

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The whole body of a woman is brought to a pinpoint in sexual stimulation. All her imagination is concentrated. Sex is not a part. It is the whole man. That is why a person, in the heat of sexual stimulation is nearer to the Cosmic Centre than at any time when he hovers precariously about the circumference.

"Nearly every part of the body is brought into activity during sexual stimulation and sexual union. The nervous mechanism, the glandular system, the muscular apparatus, the special senses, particularly the senses of touch, of sight, of odour-all of them playa part in sex activity. The physical changes which take place during the sexual relations are, in fact, so widespread that they involve the entire organism."

The Copulatory Climax

The sexual act begins with the insertion of the male organ into the vaginal passage of the female. The reciprocal copulatory movements lead to the sexual climax. The flaccid penis becomes rigid enough to penetrate into the vagina-. The female partner undergoes distinct physical and emotional changes.

"The female genitals, too, undergo certain changes upon sexual arousal. The walls of the vagina become congested. the vaginal opening relaxes and even pouts to some extent. while the clitoris and the smaller labia become tense and slightly erect. At the same time. the glands of the vulva secrete a slippery fluid which moistens the surfaces of the external genitals and helps. the entry of the penis. -Accompanying the local changes, there arc general physical and emotional manifestations of sexual stimulation-the stronger and quicker impulse, the faster breathing, the dilated pl1pile, the flushed face, the increased muscular activity and nervous excitation. The coital movements increasingly heighten the erotic sensation and rising tension until the release is reached in the climax or orgasm."

Pain experienced by the woman on the wedding night is due to the stretching or breaking of the hymen. The degree of discomfort depends upon the texture of the membrane. The patient approach by the husband can lessen this pain. There is a slight bleeding but it does not require any special treatment. It usually stops in a short time. There may be a slight recurrence during the first few subsequent intercourses.

Henstruatlon

Before describing the female sex organs, it wi11 not be out of place to mention here something about the process of menstruation. When a girl begins to grow young, i.e. at the time of puberty, a discharge of blood through her vagina takes place. Thereafter it occurs again and again after an average period of 28 days. Normally the discharge of blood, which also contains mucus and dead tissues, continues for 4 or 5 days. But in certain cases it may stop in a day or may even continue for 7 to 8 days. Such cases are very rare and should be classified as abnormal. The proces5 of menstruation starts in girls some time between the ages of 12 and 18-earlier in hot climate and later in cold climate--and generally continues till a woman grows old. With the start of menstruation, the female sex organs also develop and a change in the female figure takes place. As to why menstruation starts will be described later.

Vulva

The. external female organs, i.e., the out ward portion .which can be seen by the naked eye, is known as' Vulva.This consists of Monsveneries. Labia Majora. Labia Minora, Clitoris, Urethral opening and the Vaginal opening (which is gcneral1y covered by hymen in virgins). The description of each of these parts is given below.

Monsveneris

Above the outer parts of the female sex organs, there is a thick pad of flesh. This fleshy pad is known 'as the monsveneris. At the approach of puberty, this is covered with fine silken pubic hair which later on grow thicker.

Labia Majora and Labia Minora

The inner female sex organs are covered by outer big lips which arc called labia majora and two smaller lips called labia minora. The bigger lips extend from monsveneris to anus and some hair grow on their outer parts. The smaller inner lip:; fold together to enclose the vaginal orifice which opens when these lips are pulled apart or when the pennis is inserted into the vagina. The smaller lips in young girls arc rosy and made up of very elastic tissues.

Clitoris

This is a small knob. like projection situated above the vaginal opening where' the' smaller lips meet. Its length ranges from one third of an inch to one inch. Just like gluns penis in the male, clitoris in the female is the most sensitive sexual part. It also becomes erect and rigid on slight excitation.

It possesses a network of nerves and when ever the clitoris of a woman is touched or pressed great excitement is produced in her. In other words, this ;5 a miniature glans penis. During sexual intercourse, the touching of clitoris by the glans penis gives most pleasure to women. Even repeated touching and rubbing of clitoris with finger produces orgasm in women, i.e., the highest sense of pleasure enjoyed by a woman in the sexual act. The clitoris gets somewhat enlarged by masturbation. The presence of a large clitoris in a girt indic:1tes an abnormal sexual desire.

Urethral Opening .

It is a small folded opening lying about an inch below the clitoris and just above the vaginal opening. Its function is to pass out urine stored in the urinary bladder.

Vaginal Opening

It is situated at the lower part of the vulva (below the urethral opening). This is the front opening of the vaginal canal which lies inside

Hymen

This is a membrane which keeps the vaginal opening closed in virgins. This is called the maiden head. This membrane does not cover the vagina altogether but has a small opening in it to allow the flow of the menstrual fluid. If the hymen is found missing in a virgin, her virginity should not he suspected as in some cases it gets ruptured by falls jumps or excessive flow of menstrual fluid. In other cases, the membrane is so soft and elastic that it remains intact even after a few performances of the sexual act. Thus, the presence of hymen should not be taken as a proof of virginity. Hymen is generally present in virgins and gets ruptured at the time of the first entry of penis in the vagina. As a great pain is felt by the girl at this lime the husband should not insert his organ with great force. The wife should also be told about this pain beforehand so that she may keep herself prepared for it. This subject will he dealt with in detail in the chapter on "Wedding Night".

The internal genital organs of a woman include the vagina, the uterus or womb, the fallopian tubes and the ovaries the penis is inserted during the sexual intercourse. It starts from the vulva and extends as far as the neck of the uterus. Its outer orifice known as the vaginal opening, can he seen by opening out the inner lips. Normally it is from 4 to 7 inches in depth. Its walls are elastic and arc provided with many folds. They are also lined by a mucous membrane producing a thin secretion which keeps the organ moist and clean. The walls of the vagina can contract and relax themselves. Thus, though the vagina of young girls is very narrow, it readily admits the penis when it is inserted into it with a little force. Not only that at the time of childbirth, it relaxes so much as to allow the baby to pass through .

Uterus or Womb

The uterus is situated between the large intestines and the urinary bladder. It is a uterus. Fallopian tubes and Ovaries hollow and pear-shaped organ. The largest part of it lies in the abdominal cavity and the narrow part, ie. the neck of the uterus, projects in the upper portion of the vagina. The uterine neck. which ,is also called the cervix can be felt by introducing a finger into the vagina. The uterus is held in its position by means of cords and muscles from above.

It is about 3 inches long and 2 inches broad at its widest part while in unimpregnated condition. The muscles it is made of are so elastic that the uterus expands considerably in the course of pregnancy. The upper part of the uterus is connected with ovaries by means of two small ducts (one on the left and the other on the right side) called the fallopian tubes. The lower end, i.e., the crevix, has an opening in the vagina called the mouth of the womb which remains open or closed at different occasions. The function of the uterus is to retain and supply nourishment to the impregnated ovum till the child is born.

Fallopian Tubes

The fallopian tubes arc two ducts, from 4 to 6 inches in length and 4 to 6 inches in diameter. which connect either side of the uterus with the ovaries. The function of these tubes is to receive the ova produced by the ovaries and to carry them to the uterus. These also sometimes carry the spermatozoa from the uterus in the direction of ovaries. Thus. a meeting between the spermatozoa and an ovum takes place in the uterus or the fallopian tubes. This will be discussed in detail in another chapter.

Ovaries .

The ovaries arc small almond-shaped organs and play the most important part in the reproductive system of a woman, These arc two in number, one lying on the right and the other on the left side of the uterus, in the abdominal cavity. The size of 'he ovaries

A Dissected View of Female Sex Organs

1. Uterus 6. Pubic bone

2. Mouth of the uterus 7. Urinary Bladder

3. Neck of the uterus 8. Ovary

4. Vagina 9. Filii opian Tube

5. Clítoris

varies in different women. Even in the same woman the size of the ovaries varies at different times. Normally the average size of the ovary is about 11 inches in length, 1 inch in breadth and t.3 inch in thickness. As has already been stated, these are connected with uterus by means of ducts known as fallopian tubes. Their function corresponds to that of testicles in the male. As the testicles produce semen, which contains sperms. the ovaries manufacture the ova or eggs. Each ovary is estimated to contain n million ova or female generative cells. Out of these, only a few hundred reach maturity. Like testicles. each ovary consists of a net work of fibrous and muscular tissues containing many nerves and blood vessels. If this be seen under a powerful microscope, it will be found that this tissue contains many small sacs or vesicles. These are cal1cd the Grafian follicles and contain ova. Normally a follicle comes to maturity after every four weeks, sometimes in one, sometimes in the other ovary. When the mature ovum comes out of the follicle, a number of small blood vessels break and blood comes out of the woman's body through the vagina and is known as the menstrual flow. How the ovum gets impregnated and how it grows into a child will be described in detail in the chapter on "Conception".

Mammary Glands

The mammary glands, which arc also known as t he breasts, are two sexual glands:

The breasts start to develop al the approach of puberty and assume the hemispherical shape. The breast mainly consists of glandural, fatty and connective tissue, These arc combined together and form a very tough, firm and elastic mass, which looks like clusters of grapes. In the centre there is the nipple surrounded by small circles of rose-pink tissues. The colour is a bit darker in certain cases. The nipple is supplied with muscular fibres, blood vessels and milk ducts. The nipple is also very sensitive when it is touched, twisted or fondled, it becomes stiff and erect and produces extremely pleasant sensation in the woman whose sexual passion is also aroused. During pregnancy the breasts in crease in volume due to the growth of new sacs. These sacs contain cells which secrete milk. The milk is collected by small ducts and brought into bigger ducts known as lactiferous ducts through which it passes out of the nipple.

The reader must be aware that a full grown breast of a young woman has always been considered the most beautiful portion of female form. An ideally formed breast is always one of the greatest feminine charms which fascinate those opposite sex. Thus, it is very important for every woman to preserve the shape and size of her breasts. The methods by which their beautiful roundness and firmness can be maintained wil1 be described ill another chapter.

THE MIGHTY MALEMACHTNE

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Sex is a very complex phenomenon. Physical, psychological and emotional factors are involved in the sex relation. Sex plays a dominant role in marriage. A happy union is not possible without a satisfactory sex relationship. Immediately after marriage, the husband and the wife require a dynamic sex relationship. This high harmony does not come forth like a mushroom, developing spontaneously. It requires an understanding of the mechanism of sex.

Marital life is unsatisfactory without sex attraction. Sexual disharmony is responsible for most of the domestic difficulties. The sex factor plays a dominant role in marital satisfaction. Dickinson and Hearn have made an analytical survey of' over a thousand marriages and have come to the following conclusion:

"If the data in this study reinforce anyone concept it is that satisfactory sexual relations are necessary to fully adjusted and successful unions." .

We have moved a great deal forward from the prudishness and false modesties of former generations. Some sexual. diehards still on reactionary traditions. Time and tide demand that we .should emerge from the puritanical era of taboos and inhibitions. Let there be no suppressions al1d repressions of previous ages. The rise of Freudian psychology and the great dissemination of sex knowledge have given us an increased awareness of the signif1cance of the sexual impulse. There should be a frank revaluation and reappraisal of sex ethics and social standards.

According to Margaret Meed. "the need of a technique to deal with sex ;:IS an art" should be fully recognised and universally acknowledged, as in the Hindu book Kama' Sutra, written about sixteen hundred years ago.

Sex Technique

"When I speak of the technique of, sex", says the doctor in Drs. Hannah and Abraham Stone's A Marriage Manual, "I am referring to the effective performance of the sexual act. This requires. first of all, an understanding of the mechanism involved, of the anatomical and physiological processes of sexual union and secondly, an appreciation of the art of sexual love, that is of the means by which the sex relationship may be made most satisfying to both mates.

"From a physical viewpoint, the sex act involves the union or coaptation of the male and female genitals. It is well that both the man and the woman should have some understanding of the structure and functions of the sex organs, their respective relations to each other, the changes which occur during sexual stimulation and excitation, the position to be taken in order to bring the organs into satisfactory apposition ^__in other words, the actual mechanism of the sexual union. It may not be necessary to follow Balzac's rhetorical suggestion that a nun should not marry 'before he has studied anatomy and has dissected at least one woman, but it is certainly true the some knowledge of sexual anatomy is of considerable help to the satisfactory consummation of the sex act."

Pubic Region

The pubic region is that part of the body in which the sex organs arc located. When a boy begins to grow up, hair appears on this region. This takes place some time between the ages of 13 and 17 and the hair is known as the Pubic Hair. During puberty, hair also shows its appearance in the armpits and on the chin. The first growth of hair is very fine but it becomes thick after some time.

Testicles

The testicles are two in number. There is a bag of skin which contains them. " This bag is called the scrotum and hangs down between thighs below the penis. The average size of each testicle (glandular ball) in a grown up man is one and a half inches in length and one inch in breadth. Some people think that a man who possesses big testicles has more sex power. It is not correct. The testicles remain in hanging in the scrotum by means of connective tissues thin threads made of flesh. As shown in the diagram, the inner structure of a testicle consists of a sort of network of a great number of extremely small tubes which contain blood vessels. The function of these tubes is to produce semen, The scientists have found out that one drop of semen is produced from 80 to 100 drops of blood.. Each drop of semen contains a very large number of extremely small living germs which cannot be seen by the naked eye. These are known as Spermatozoa. Under the microscope these can be seen in motion. The production semen in a man starts at the approach of puberty and goes on till the man grows very, very old. When semen is discharged in a woman's vagina at the time of the sexual union the minute spermatozoa unite with the ovum coming from the woman and produce pregnancy. How conception takes place will be discussed in detail later. For the time being, it should he observed how important a part the testicles play. On their proper functioning depends the future of manhood. Healthy semen is required not only to produce children but if it is rightly preserved in the body it also increases physical, mental and intellectual powers to a very great extent. On the other hand, if it is wasted very frequently, it leads to physical and mental weakness. If the testicles of n man be removed, he will become impotent. In olden days the testicles of certain types of criminals were removed as a penalty for their crimes.

Penis

The penis of children is very small but at the time of puberty it grows in size. The average size of penis in a healthy young male is 3 to 4 inches in length and 2 to 4 inches in, circumference when it is in an unexcited condition. But in the excited condition, i.e., when it is erect, its size becomes large and its muscles become rigid in this condition the average size of the penis is 6 to 7 inches in length and 21/2 to 4 inches in circumference. It may, however, be stated here that the size of penis differs in various individuals and also in the people of different countries For example, in Negroes its size is very large 5 to 7 inches in length in unexcited condition and 8 to 10 inches In excited condition. We will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of a long or small penis later.

The penis is made up of muscles, spongy. tissues, blood vessels and skin. It. hangs down like a pendulum above the testicles. Now, when a man's passion is excited either:

(i) by thought, i.e., 011 seeing a figure of a

naked woman or some part of her body;

on reading the literature describing the

act of love, all seeing a young man

kissing or embracing a young girl, etc.,

or .

(ii) by action , i.e., Oil kissing or embracing

a young girl ; when penis is touched by some part of a woman's body.. etc.

a large quantity of blood rushes to the muscles and the spongy tissue of the penis which consequently grows in size, becomes erect and very hard. When the penis in this state is inserted in the woman's vagina and discharge of semen takes place the muscles of the penis at once relax.

The blood rushes back from the penis which resumes its original size.

The front of the penis is called the Glans. It is slightly thicker than the rest of the penis. It is covered by skin which can he moved backwards and forwards. At the approach of puberty, when the size of the penis grows this skin moves back and makes the penis naked. The Glans penis is the most sensitive part of the male organ and a slight touch by the woman of the Glans penis excites passion in man and makes the makes the penis erect. To and fro movements of Glans penis in a woman's vagina cause friction in it and give the most pleasure to a man in the sexual act. This will be described in detail in another chapter.

Semen and urine pass out of the body of a man through a canal which runs through the penis and opens at the centre of the Glans penis. This canal is known as urethra. Thus, there arc two functions of the penis. First it passes out the urine coming from the urinary bladder through the urethra. Secondly, it conveys the semen up to the uterus of the woman through her vagina.

The Prostate Gland

This gland is located between the root of penis and the urinary bladder. The urethra passes through this gland. This gland Can be touched by a finger inserted through the anus. In these days some sexual disease are cured by massage or application of certain ointments on this gland. This can be done, either by a finger or by certain apparatus specially manufactured for this purpose, through the anus. Proper functioning of this gland is considered necessary for the maintenance of sexual strength. The secretion produced by this gland mixes with semen at the time of discharge.

The Seminal Vesicles

The Seminal vesicles are two small bags located just behind the urinary bladder and their function is to store the semen so that enough of it may be discharged in the vagina of a women at the time of the sexual union. As has already been stated, the function of the testicles is to produce semen from the blood that comes to them. Now, one would like to know what happens to the semen produced by the testicles. The semen so produced is carried to the semenal vesicles by means of long tubes. These tubes are called Vas dc1erc'IIs and arc two in number-one coming out of each testicle. Vas defer ell.'; carrying the semen take a round of the urinary bladder and open into the seminal vesicles where the semen is stored. The seminal vesicles also secrete a thick fluid of their own. In the excited condition, this fluid lubricates the inner wails of urethra so that there is no dit1lculty at the time of ejaculation of semen.

It is obvious from the situation of the seminal vesicles that during sleep when the urinary bladder and the colon (lower part of big intestines) are full, J great pressure is put on the seminal vesicles and the semen is discharged. So, a great many cases of night pollutions can be slopped if the bladder is emptied at regular i!1tcryelIs and constipation is avoided.

SOME STRANGE PRACTICES

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Homosexuality has prevailed in almost all countries from the very ancient times. Male prostitution has been common e1l over the world. We read in the works of Aristophanes: "And they say the boys do this very thing, not for their lovers, but for money's sake. Not the better part, but the sodomites ; for the better part do not ask for money."

Bancroft writes about the Red Indians of California that "when the missionaries first arrived in the region," men were "dressed as women and performing women's duties for unnatural purposes ......A Kadiak mother will select her handsomest and most promising boy, and dress, and rear him as a girl.,... Arriving at the age of ten or fifteen years, he is married to some wea1thy man who regards such a companion as a great acquisition."

Religious Prostitution

Able Dubois writes about certain parts of India during the middle ages: "While the image of Venkatesvara is bore through the streets on a magnificent car, the Brahmi ns who preside at the ceremony go about the crowd and select the most beautiful women they can find, demanding them of their husbands or parents in the name of Venkatesvara for whose service, it is asserted, they are destined."

love in Prisons

Joseph F. Fisherman states that "every year a large number of boys. adolescent youths and young men are made homosexuals, either temporarily or permanently, in the prisons of America.''

Medical Specimens

In the museum of the Pathology Department, King George's Medical College, Lucknow University, arc preserved two specimens, removed from the rectum of men, who had pushed these up through the anus. One of these is the stem of a young banana plant, measuring at the time of extraction ten and a quarter inches in length and three and a half inches in circumference. The history entered in the catalogue of specimens is that a man aged 30 years was advised by a quack to insert into rectum a part of the stem of a banana plant as a cure for spermatorrhoea (passing of semen in the urine)... The second article, removed from the rectum of another man, is what looks like a bottle of country liquor. The length of the bottle is nine and a quarter inches.

-GEORGE RYLEY SCOTT

Encyclopedia of Sex

Fetichism

Fetichism is a sexual perversion in which sexual desire is awakened only at the slighter touch of a certain article or form of dress, such as the shoes, gloves, lipstick, etc. There are men who are sexually attracted by women wearing excessively high-heeled shoes, a fact with which every experienced prostitute is thoroughly acquainted. Modi quotes the case of a young servant of a European lady "who on the pretext of cleaning and arranging her dressing room, would enter it every morning after she left it, and would use her pyjama for exciting his sexual appetite until he would discharge and wet it with semen. He was at last found out and dismissed from service."

Sadism

Some people obtain sexual pleasure through the infliction of cruelty. the witnessing of cruelty. or the imagination of cruel acts. This abnormal pleasure is known as sadism. The sadist loves to beat, bite, whip and torture his sexual partner in every possible way. Cruelty in itself docs not constitute sadism; there must be sexual pleasure associated with it. "Slaps and blows are accepted as caresses; scratches and bites form part of the love play", writes Kraffl-Ebing who coined the term "sadism" based on the novels of Marquis de Sade.

Eunuch

An eunuch is 11 castrated male. In olden days these were used in palaces as servants to preserve the chastity of the ladies. Hirschfeld refers to eunuchs in Indian cities as male prostitutes. He says, "They sit on the balconies by bright lamp-light just as the female prostitutes do, and they look exactly like women."

Right of the Wedding Night

Mackal gives some interesting examples of the right of the wedding night in Sexology. In the mountains of Turkey. after the wedding ceremony. When all the guests had departed. the priest cried out in a loud voice, U I am the. great but, not a fattened ox!" The girl stepped forward and said, "I am the young cow!'' The lights were extinguished, the defloration and the orgy began.

Among the Berbers of Morocco, "Sometimes the bridegroom. accompanied by the members of his family and women. went to a neighbouring village to fetch a man to spend the first night with the bride." When they brought the man. the women sang, "Rejoice, O, lady, and continue to rejoice, for the perforator has come to you."

Scientific Marriage

In 1838 John Humphrey Noyes started a "Society of Perfectionist," at Oneida in upper New York State. The members of the Oneida community practiced free love, complex, marriage) and male continence. Noyes stated: "We are opposed to involuntary procreation. We are opposed to . excessive, of course) oppressive procreation, which is almost universal. We are opposed to random procreation, which is unavoidable in the marriage system. But we are in favour of intelligent, well-ordered procreation. We believe the time will come when scientific combination will be applied to human generation as freely and successfully as it is to that of other animals."

According to Allan Estlake, "This most remarkable departure from established custom constituted each male member of the community to be the husband of all females) and each female the wife or every man. Each man assumed the responsibility and' protection of each and every woman as he would to a wife under the monogamic system,. and so sacred was this trust observed that during a period of over thirty years not a single instance occurred of rejection of it."

The community had a Stirpiculture Committee which granted permission for sexual intercourse to the persons fit for it and debarred others fron1 procreation. Permission was granted on the basis of medical examination and medical history of both the partners. Unsuitable persons were debarred from be. coming parents. They practised coitus reservatus or male continence.

This method, also called Karezza, is defined by Dr. Dickinson, in his Techniqucs of -Conception Control, as "prolonged intercourse accompanied by maximum and varied excitement, with orgasm for the woman if desired. with no seminal emission or rare external emission-but with the substitution of a gradual subsidence of fec1ine for the man' In the words of Dr. Alice Stockham-in her book Karezza-"The caresses lead. up to connection, and the sexes unite quietly and closely. Once the necessary control has been acquired, the two beings are fused and reach sub1ime spiritual joy. This union can be accomp:1I1icd by slow. controlled motion, so that voluptuous thrills do not over-balance the desire for soft sensation. If there is no wish to procreate, the stormy violence of the orgasm will thus be avoided''.

In this method, the m de is rather passive and nukes slow movements. When the moment of orgasm is near, he becomes immediately passive and stops all movements. This results in a marked diminution in sexual excitement. The strokes are resumed after a while and so on. In this manner, the sex act is prolonged and the woman may in the mean time have her orgasm while the man has not had it at all, though he has enjoyed himself considerably.

As Havelock Ellis has pointed out, this method may, in some cases, produce the same cases, produce the same degree as coitus interrupts or the withdrawal method. It is, however, l10tcwerthy in this context that it produced no ill effects in the members of the Oneida community where it was so widely practiced.

Urine as Medicine

Urine has been used as medicine from the earliest times Richard Neale, in the Practitioner of November 1881. mentions that in South America and Data via mine has a high reputation as a medicine. He S;1}S, "One of the worst cases of epistaxis (bleeding through the nose) ceased after a pint of flesh urine was drunk, although it had for thirty-six hours or more resisted every form of European medicine." And further. he says, "1 have frequently seen a glass of a child's or young girl's urine tossed off with great gusto 3.Ild apparent benefit." In 1938 Cyril mentioned a Yorkshireman named Baxter who claimed "that he

had cured himself of a cancerous growth by applying his own urine in the form of compresses and by drinking his own urine."

Dangers or Kissing

Gonorrhoea cannot be acquired by kissing, but syphilis can. The germs of syphilis are present not only in the sexual organs but also inside the mouth. Hence, these germs can be easily transferred from one person to another.

BIRTH CONTROL

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Birth control means the ability of a women to become pregnant or to prevent pregnancy at will. It is a complete control on the process of bearing children. It is not only the prevention, but also the facilitation of pregnancy when the latter is considered desirable.

It is wrong to believe that the purpose of birth COf1trol is ruthlessly to suppress all pregnancies. Birth control does not mean only that. It also means the CtH1lrary. Children are absolutely necessary for the happy life of millions of couples. As Daniel A. Lord writes in his book Speaking of Birth Control, children are a sort of human enterprise in which the mother and father are partners and sharers".

Thus, the aims of birth control are both negative and positive. They help us in building happy homes and healthy families. It is a method of scientifically controlled parenthood.

Apart from the controversy that the concept of birth control provoked in the earlier part of this century, the term itself is considered to be scientifically inexact-at any rate it is not a happy one. For, it does not so much control births as conception. This term was coined by Margarct Sanger, the American piol1eer and champion of the practice of birth control, in 1914 in Woman Rebel. Since then it has come into vogue and has been popularly used. Latterly: however, terms like planned parenthood or f3mily planning have also come into popular usage.

Right to Procreate

Thus wrote Havelock Ellis in his authoritative work, Studies in the Psycology of sex: "...the right to marry...in no way involves the right to procreate. For while marriage per se only affects the two individuals concerned and in no way affects the State, procreation, on the other hand, primarily affects the community which is ultimately made up of procreated persons, and only secondarily affects t he two individuals who are the instruments of procreation. So just as the individual couple has the first right in the question of marriage the State has the first right in the question of procreation."

The Need for Birth Control

The need for. birth control or family planning arises at two different levels, viz, the individual family level and the level of the nation or the state. At the family level, it is necessary because the number of children in the family should be so restricted that they can be properly brought up, fed and educated and provided .with all other material comforts to which they are entitled. Thus, the family should not have more children than it can afford to sustain at a minimum decent level of living. Similarly, at the larger national plane, the nation should not have more child than it can feed, give shelter to, employ and sustain consistent with the accepted levels of living.

The population of the world is rising at a very fast rate. More than 5,000 children are born every hour, i.e., about 45 million a year. Obviously, the material resources of the world must increase faster than this rate of increase of its population if poverty, squalor and human misery have to be got rid of. Even if that happens, the problem of sheer space, the problem of accommodation would remain. Despite modern scientific and technological advances a bid for capturing other planets, the pressure of population on land cannot be ignored lightly.

In India, the population is increasing at an alarmingly fast rate. The recent census has revealed that our population has risen during the last ten years, 1951 to 1961, by about 77 million and now stands at the staggering figure of 458 mi1\ion. Already we have not been able to feed, clothe and house our teeming millions properly and have had to import large quantities of food grains. The recent increase puts a brake on our development plans and m:1kes their benefits so much the smaller to each individual.

It is this staggering increase in population in India and elsewhere 1hat nukes family planning a necessary policy to be pursued by the governments of the world. It is in fact already being pursued by many countries as a conscious policy, with varying degrees of success.

Methods of Birth Control

The need for family planning brings into focus the variety of methods prescribed for the purpose. Most of the pu1ar method. have already been described in Chapter IX. In some detail. Here we shall discuss some of the other method which are generally believed to prevent conception from occurring, indicating in each case the efficacy of the method concerned. We shall also discuss some of the common fallacies associated with birth control.

The Cold Woman

Some ladies have the notion that they can avoid conception if they remain cold during the sexual intercourse and restrain their excitement, thereby avoiding the climax.. The doctors have found this to be a mistaken notion.

So, no woman should remain under the delusion that she cannot be impregnated if she remains cold to her husband during the sex act. Medical scientists have established it that a woman can conceive irrespective of whether she is highly sexed or not. The cold approach is a sort of mechanical approach to sex. It is well known that in the case of less educated and illiterate women sex is a mere mechanical process. It is generally these women who have more children than the educated sophisticated ones who practice all the refinements and the arts of sex. It is futile, therefore, to depend on this method for the prevention of conception.

The Suckling Method

Menstruation remains suspended for varying periods after child-birth. It is a common belief that it remains suspended while the child is being suckled but it is a wrong idea. In this belief some women continue breastfeeding for a long time with a view to .avoiding child-birth but they arc often disillusioned, because this method is very unreliable for the simple reason that the period of little protection against conception by afforded prolonged suckling varies from woman to woman.

In general however, we may say that while women are suckling their babies, they are less likely to conceive than at other times. Further it is known that when children are suckled for longer than nine months, and in any case for 10nger than their first year after birth, the womb shrinks and becomes flaccid, ovulation and menstruation cease either permanently or for some time, and sterility results; but it is at least equally certain that a considerable percentage of nursing mothers begin to menstruate again before their babies are weaned. Indeed, a fresh impregnation only too often occurs during lactation, and before the reappearance of the warning signal of renewed ovarian activity. There is always this possibility so .long as protected suckling has not led to genital atrophy, and such genital atrophy. which may be permanent. is too high a price for both partners to pay for effecting contraception.

We may sum up by stating that during normal lactation, there is little likelihood of pregnancy occurring. But it is impossible to rely on lactation alone. when it is necessary that a fresh conception should not take place. As soon as fresh menstruation has set in once more, all chances of immunity arc over.

Anti-Birth Vaccination

In inoculation dead germs of the diseases arc injected into the blood and the system elaborates "antibodies" to destroy them. These antibodies destroy live germs of the diseases also if introduced into the body.

The male germ resembles the other disease germs like those of the small-pox, cholera, typhoid, etc. But no doctor h3S yet been able to find vaccination to immunize a woman against the effect of a male germ. Many doctors, like Norman Haire, have unsuccessfully tried the experiment to prepare vaccination from the male germs and inject them into a group of married women, but not one of them was able to withstand the attack of pregnancy.

Pregnancy preventing Pill

Dr. B. F. Sieve prepared tablets of a drug manufactured quite cheaply from orange peel and now known as Phosphorylated Hesperidin. He gave the tablets to three hundred married couples from three months to three years on 8n average. He found that not. a single pregnancy case took place.

The Gold Pin

The gold pin and Grafenberg Ring can prevent pregnancy but these have numerous disadvantages:

First, these appliances are expensive and well-nigh beyond the pocket of an ordinary married person. Secondly, these are difficult to fit and require a medical- specialist to do the job satisfactorily. Thirdly, they cause irritation in the female passage.

Birth Control Jelly

''Preceptin" is a birth control jelly and one of the better known products of its kind. It gives effective protection from pregnancy. This is one of the few chemical products which can be recommended for' use alone without any other birth control appliance or any other precaution. It is introduced into the female passage by means of an applicator. The intercourse should begin within an hour thereafter, because its effect gradually wears off. If it gives rise to irritation, its use should be discontinued.

Male Continence

The best method of birth control is, of course, self-control. Male continence does not generate any harmful effect 3S proved by the Oneida community in upper New York State, whose leader, a deeply religious man called Noyes, originated this method. In effect, this method is nothing but prolonged or reserved coitus, with or without u1timate orgasm.

The question as to whether a person can remain continent without harmful effects in volves the question as to whether he can mentally accept the method. If he cannot, this method is little different in its effects on the nervous system from coitus interrupts. Thus, in that event, it would, like the other method, result in nervous breakdown of one or both the 'partners.

SIZE OF THE ORGAN

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The size of the male organ is often exaggerated in sex books of lewd taste.

Quack sexologists tell their patients almost absurd things. Thus, most of the people are frightened into believing that their organs are diminutive. This gives rise to inferiority complex otherwise perfectly healthy men.

Remember that virility of it male does not depend on the length but rather the strength of the male organ. Some males with large organs are quite impotent. On the other hand men with short and strong organs are more fertile and capable of giving greater sexual pleasure.

Two Pigeon's Eggs

Immcdiate1y behind the male organ is a baglike structure of loose skin. This is ca1led the scrotum. 1t has a peculiar but characteristic odour. On each side of this pouch is a body shaped like pigeon's egg. These two egg-shaped bodies lie side by side and each of them is called a testicle. Do not be perturbed

if the left testicle is slightly larger than the right, because that is a normal occurrence. Therefore, the left side of t he scrotum hangs down lower than the right side. These testicles produce the male germs-the most important constituents of the seminal fluid. These male germs arc carried along two thin long tubes to the root of the male organ.

The Female Urethra

Urethra is the opening of the canal through which urine comes out. It is some distance above the opening of the female passage. Thus, it should be noted that there are two passages in the woman and not one as is sometimes erroneously believed. Urine docs not come out of the same passage in which penetration of the male organ can take place. The two passage are different and vary very greatly in size. While the female organ can easily admit three or four fingers closed together, urethra. the passage for urine, is no higher than a match stick. Therefore, it is a mistake to confuse the two separate parts of the female organism.

The Pear-shaped Hollow Organ

The womh is a pear-shaped hollow organ with thick muscular walls. This pear is customarily divided into the body and the neck. The body corresponds to the main bulk of the fruit. It is that part which is farthest from the female passage. The neck corresponds with the narrow part of the pear. It is that part which immediately adjoins the female passage. The' mouth of the womb is at the neck end. Through this the female passage is continuous with the womb.

The Sexual Climax

When the climax is approaching, rhythmic movements of the male organ and the female body become more vigorous and both the persons arc greatly agitated, physically as well as emotionally. The discharge of the semen is the moment of the Supremest pleasure for both partners. In females there is no discharge of semen, as some erroneously believe, but only a discharge of mucus or a lubricating fluid. .

At the time of the climax this mucus is in the vestibu1ar glands. We have seen that these glands become active under the stimulus of sexual emotion, and have also noticed the presence of mucus, which is not only very useful but even indispensable to the lubrication of the vagina and the painless introduction of the penis. This mucus secretion increases with the excitation incident to coitus, so that a certain accumulation of it in the gland ducts becomes possible. The spasmodic muscular contractions compress the distended glands and their accumulated secretion can be ejected under pressure through the excretory ducts.

Any other emission of secretion at the moment of the orgasm is possible only through the uterus. It is not improbable that the bulky mucus "Plug" which some women expel after coitus is due to such spasmodic contractions. What must be remembered for practical purposes is that during the orgasm uterus plays an active part and sucks in the seminal fluid' by alternately contracting and relaxing.

The psychological condition of both man and woman is the same in the sexual climax. The face is flushed and the expression blank. The breathing is short and rapid. The eyes bulge and blink frequently. The heart beats faster. The body becomes rigid. The lower limbs may be thrown about in a disorderly

manner. Quite incoherent sounds are uttered. Occasionally the lower female passage goes into involuntary contractions, gripping the male organ.

Sexual Postures

All kinds of postures for sexual intercourse have been described in the minutest detail in the ancient literature of India and some other Asian countries. It would be wrong to look upon them as sexual perversions. Havelock Ellis maintains: "From the frequency with which they have been adopted by various people as national customs, most of the postures in coitus must be said to come within the normal range of variations. It is a mistake to regard them as vicious perversion,,'"

Morning Sickness

When the baby is in the womh, the monthly course is stopped. The breasts become enlarged and firm. The" nipples become prominent. A small quantity of milky fluid call be squeezed out of them.

When a woman gets up in the morning, she has a feeling of sickness and she feels like vomitting to ease herself. She coughs and distends her throat to disgorge something, but usual1y nothing comes out except sometimes a testicles fluid out of the stomach, but aIl the same it gives some relief to the woman.

When the baby grows up sufficiently, the movement of its limbs can be felt in the lower abdomen of a woman's body. It has a peculiar 5eneation for the mother and can sometimes be very hurting like ache in the stomach. The truth is that it is the beginning of motherhood with all its ravishes and ravages, The expectant mother's. own tastes also undergo considerable change, particularly in the matter or food.

As the baby increases in bulk, pink or purple streaks appear on the abdomen and these are caused by straining of the female body to create more and more accommodation for the child. On the contrary, after child-birth, there is a corresponding tightening of the abdomen to return to its normal size, but this tightening-back is never fully accomplished, and the more children a mother has, the more flabby her abdomen is likely to be. And that is why actresses and others who value their beauty are afraid of motherhood.

Boy-or-Girl Formula

It is not easy to determine whether the result would be a boy or girl, although different methods have been unsuccessfully tried. Up to this time, no perfect method has been discovered.

The sex-determining substance in a female is known as X-chromosome. Similar sex determining substance in a male 'is ca11ed Y-chromosome. These germs are found in both the partners and after combination give out different kinds of biological partnerships. The newly formed combination may contain two X-chromosomes or one X-chromosome and one V-chromosome.

If the baby contains one X-chromosome, the baby is female. If the baby contains one X-chromosome and one Y-chromosome. the resultant baby ie a male.

This may be a scientific theory, but its actual implementation is yet beyond human control. No proces5 has yet been known to convert male into female or female into male during pregnancy.

Time of Birth

How to determine the proximate date of the coming child? When you take a pregnant woman to a :Maternity Home for registration before child-birth. they tell you when the child may be expected. The date given is only approximate and may vary 3S much as by a week or a month.

The method followed is to add nine months and seven days to the date on which the last monthly course took place. After a woman becomes pregnant, the monthly course bleeding automatically stops and so this is the only way to calculate the exact birth-date of the coming child. Variations from this date do, however. occur in many or even most cases. Science has not yet discovered a scientific method by which child-birth can be determined exact to a day but later progress may be able to pinpoint it to the exact minute. Who knows?

Ethics of Masturbation

Masturbation is auto-eroticism. It is also called self-abuse or self-pollution. The person tries to derive pleasure by his or her own manipulations and does not need a partner of the opposite sex, although mutual masturbation among companions of the same sex is fairly common.

Masturbation is fairly common not only among human beings at all stages of civilization from savages to the highly civilized, but also among some animals, such as the monkeys. Therefore, it should not be regarded as unusual or abnormal when found in a person. In moderation it is not harmful. Out of moderation, as you know, everything is injurious, even eating the most healthful foods and drinks. It is quite common among females as among males, although more so in the latter.

It is generally learnt quite' spontaneously. The child learns it accidentally while fondling with his or her genitals. Girls experience a pleasurable sensation while working at the sewing machine. Cycling is also a factor encouraging masturbation.

Some authorities now regard masturbation as quite harmless and a very innocent medium for relaxing the sexual tensions. In fact, rapes and many criminal acts are committed by those who are not married and cannot relax their sexual tensions. As too much steam in the locomotive engine has to be let out to save the boiler from bursting out so too much semen has to have a bona fide outlet which is either masturbation or nocturnal emissions in the case of the unmarried. Otherwise it leads to public prostitution with all its fruits of venereal diseases or public crimes.

As already stated, the loss of semen due to masturbation is not serious unless the practice is carried to excess which must he avoided because in that case it greatly injures the body and even makes a person effeminate or impotent.

On no sexual disorder is there such a diversity or opinion as on masturbation. There is no difference of opinion as to the pathological. significance, for instance, of nocturnal pollutions or spermatorrhoea. There is, however, a very wide difference of opinion as to the injuriousness of masturbation. There is a certain percentage of people in whom masturbation, provided it is not indulged in excessively, will produce no or hardly any evil effects.

And yet there .Ire others, who believe that masturbation in whatever masturbation it is indulged in is decidedly harmful to the body end the brain. All that can be said here is that there is no unanimity of opinion on this question.

The Venereal Test

The main treatment of gonorrhoea and syphilis consists hi administering injections of penicillin.. The effect of penicillin is dramatic Gonorrhoea disappears in a matter of hours. Syphilis takes a few days. The easiest way to determine whether complete cure has been effected is to test the blood. One teaspoonful of blood is drawn from the veins of the forearm for the W.R. or Waserman Reaction :

Completely Negative ... Complete Cure

* -Infection is present in mild form.

** -Infection is present in a moderate form.

*** -Infection is of severe degree.

Prevention of Venereal Diseases

Suitable medicines are available in the market for the prevention of venereal diseases contracted during intercourse with an infected person. One such thing is "Cetavlex Cream" manufactured by the Imperial Chemical Indus

tries. It should he carefully rubbed over the male organ after retracing the foreskin, paying particular attention to the opening at the tip. Cetavlex is a powerful poison for the germ of the disease but absolutely harmless to the tissues of the male organ and the female passage.

Another ointment ie based on American Army single tube chemical prophylactic, evolved in the year 1943 :

Sulphathiazole - 65 grains

Calomel - 130 grains

White Vaseline - 175 grains

Liquid parallin - 90 minims

Immediately after intercourse the private parts should be thoroughly washed with soap and water.

Make it a rule to pass your urine in gushes after sexual intercourse and not in a steady stream as is usually the case. This helps wash out the germs of venereal diseases because urine is antiseptic and is now highly recommended in certain diseases.

Condom Method

Condom employed for birth control is equally effective for gonorrhea and syphilis. It is a hollow tube made from thin latex rubber. It covers the male organ from the root to the tip. It prevents germs of the disease from going from one partner to another. It should be of reliable manufacture. It should be removed after the sexual intercourse and carefully washed in very strong disinfectants or preferably thrown away.

The women can use Cetavlex Cream, massaging the inner and the outer lips of the female passage, over the clitoris and its roots. For additional safety a small cotton plug, smeared with Cetavlex Cream can be introduced well back- into the female passage. It should be introduced an hour after the inter course.

Homosexual Attraction

Homosexuality is a sexual attraction between persons of the same sex. When it leads to sexual relationship among men, it is called sodomy. When the sexual attraction occurs among women, it is called Lesbianism. Twenty-five centuries ago, homosexuality among women was a common feature of life in the island of Lesbos which has given us the current use of the term Lesbianism.

According to Katherine Bement Davis, in one woman out of every five the intense relationship among women is "accompanied bymutual masturbation contact of genital organs or other physical expressions reeognised as sexual in character." The Police Department of Berlin has discovered 120 resorts for men addicted to homosexual practice. Freundschaft a German publication treating of homosexual subjects, is said to have a circulation of 20,000.

According, to the Indian penal Code, 'Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punishable with transportation for life, or with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to a fine. Penetration is sufficient to constitute the carnal intercourse necessary to the offence described in this section."

Homosexuality is caused by imbalance in the action of various hormones. There is a marked difference in the appearance of homosexuals. Their characters tend to approximate to those of the opposite sex. The habitual male passive agent is effeminate. The habitual female active agent looks boyish. Thus, the germs of homosexua1ity is in their blood. Given as suitable environment and opportunity, the practice easily gains a firm foothold.

Prostitution

Prostitutes are those who hire themselves for money and incidentally for sexual gratification. Prostitutes are generally women, but sometimes men also. Rich men usually demand women for their enjoyment. Rich widows here and there frequent brothels where men are kept like stud bulls for their gratification. Homosexuality is also carried on in brothels.

Very few prostitutes adopt the profession for pleasure, another career of most of the women in this line is a very sordid one. They arc usually driven to it on account of broken homes or drunkard husbands or profligate children whom a woman has the misfortune to support instead of being supported by them. Most of the women in the profession are seduced by pimp or even bought right from their parents for this purpose. Some professional bridegroorn marry just to make prostitutes of their wives-and then marry again under different names. Money is usually the motive for these evil practices. Prostitution is now prohibited by law in India.

The greatest cause of prostitution is an unhappy marriage which drives husbands into the brothels. When asked if Friday was an unlucky day to get married, George Bernard Shaw replied, "Of course, why expect Friday to be an exception?" Shaw maintains that every marriage invariably turns out to be an unhappy one. It requires a great deal of patience, understanding, courage and tact on the part of the husband and the wife to keep the marriage going to the rocks.

SEXUAL INTERCOURSE

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Sexual intercourse has been defined as the sexual act between two sexually mature persons belonging to the opposite sexes with the purpose of consummating sexual satisfaction and resulting in the ejaculation of the semen into the vagina at the end of the act. There arc several stages of complete intercourse. They are the prelude, love-play, sexual union and epilogue or after-glow. Love is thus like a drama which must be played from the beginning to the end if we must get complete pleasure out of it.

Love Play

The prelude to sexual union begins when the sex impulses of both partners arc stirred. It leads to the second stage which is generally represented by the erotic kiss. The amorous kissing works up the husband and the wife for the grand finale-the sexual climax. Kissing should not he the placing of the cold, insipid lifeless lips together. Human kissing should not be like kissing a statue of stone. In the twilight of love let kissing be brief and gentle. Let it grow with love and when you have crossed the first stage: of love-play, kissing will . automatically become more passionate. .

There arc various ways of kissing and various parts of the body where a kiss can be planted with great advantage. One learns from experience where the kisses produce the greatest sexual stimulation. This inevitably leads the partners to an amorous embrace and cling to each other like glue. All this is part of love-play.

Embracing and kissing kindle the desire. Caressing intensifies it with the exception of the face, parts good for kissing are good for caressing, too. Both forms of love-play are concerned with sense of touch.Caressing means fondling with finger tips, the palms or the tongue. The nipples arc caressed with the finger tips and the thumb as in the process of milking. No force should be used. Caressing implies tenderness. .

Embracing like kissing and caressing, is an important const of love play. There are no definite rules for embracing. The most important is the Complete Fusion Embrace. The lovers forget momentarily that they arc two different individuals, They feel as if they have united themselves into one body and one soul. This goes on till there is a desire for penetrntiol1 or the male organ into the vagina. By this time the woman's sexual passage is well lubricated and throbs for reception. Both partners become blind under the urge of a violent passion. They clasp each other violently and desire to have their bodies fused.

Bed of Love

The bedroom should contain a double bed. It should be thickly mattresses and slightly depressed in the middle. It should be covered with a white linen sheet. It should be pro vided with two spare pillows. Beside the bed should be a small table. It should have a jar of perfume, a jug of water, a mirror, a clean towel, a few books and a flower pot. The room should have two comfortable: but strongly-built chairs. The walls should be decorated with artistic pictures of beauty and love-making. Besides the ordinary light, till room should have a bulb of weak coloured light to be switched on and off when necessary. The switches should be reached from the bed while lying.

Ethics of Sex

It is wrong for a husband to turn his back immediately after the intercourse is over. This must he followed by after-play without which the act is not complete. Men are more prone to full asleep immediately after the intercourse. Women regard it as an inexcusable lack of respect and as an animal for satisfaction when a man, two minutes after the orgasm, turns on his hack and falls asleep without even troubling to say good night and is soon emitting snores. In love manuals, the fact is usually emphasized that in the woman excitement increases more slowly and voluptuous sensations die out less quickly, so that she has not reached the state of complete physical and mental relaxation by the 'time the man, now quite calm. has gone to sleep. This is, therefore, not an absolute rule, but a woman sometimes remains awake for some time after intercourse. and has leisure in which to brood over the small amount of satisfaction which she derived from the sexual act. Sexual excitement is often powerless to overcome sleeplessness when the latter is due to worries, mental or otherwise, such as the fear of pregnancy or of menstruation.

If, however, intercourse has been as satisfactory for the woman as for the man, her relaxation is still more marked than his, because she have made a much more strenuous effort. She wants to stretch her limbs, to rest her whole body and avoid all excitement. In short, a thoroughly satisfied woman goes to sleep as quickly and as deeply as the man.

It is necessary here to impress upon the lovers the need to pay special attention to the epilogue of the sex act, because this is perhaps the next neglected aspect of love making. It costs nothing to the man but makes a world of difference to the woman. It can be easily done. A word of Jove, a gentle kiss or an affectionate embrace or -even a mere tender touch may give the Woman that extra bit of satisfaction she is entitled to. After-play is essential to ideal sexual - union. It has a tremendous psychological impact on the woman.

In chapter seven, we, have already discussed the roles of the bride and the bridegroom on the wedding night. It is not necessary, there fore, to repeat them here. Suffice it to say that delicacy and tenderness should always be used when making an approach towards the wife and her passions should be gradually aroused, No effort should be made to force the pace until the wife is receptive and desires a sexual union.

Home

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How many men and women there are-not as many today as there were yesterday, but millions of them still-who believe that there is something wrong about the sex life! How many husbands and wives there are who have entered upon their relationship together with the secret conviction that what' they are doing is something to be ashamed of and hidden away. How many wives there are who cherish the suspicion, never to be reached by an)' argument and logic, that/heir practice of sex is an ignoble yielding to the flesh, and who have never surrendered to their husbands except with feelings of protest and humiliation! I know of nothing so disastrous to happiness in marriage as this feeling of shame which is so often attached to what possesses us with so insistent a drive upon our energies.

-JOHN HAYNES HOLMES
Minister of the Community Church, New York

THE CHOICE OF A PARTNER

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An understanding of the basic physical and psychological factors involved in marriage: is definitely a great help towards a more satisfactory adjustment. To determine fitness for marriage, make a thorough study of the individual. But remember, there arc not any absolute criteria of suitability.

Three Main Objectives

Say Hannah Stone and Abraham Stone: "Men and women may marry for any number of individual reasons. naeica1Jy. however, they seek in marriage three main objectives stable permanent association based on mutual affection., on love and companionship; the freedom and privilege of a sexual relationship; and the establishment of a home and a family. Love and companionship, sexual Intimacy and recreation are, then, in our culture at least, the main motives for marriager Love is a mixture of sentiment and sensuality und the sexual relation is a fundamental factor in marriage. Where a strong attraction exists there will also be the desire for It close physical intimacy and marriage provides the social, legal and moral sanctions for a sexual relationship. Biological1y, again. the object of a marriage is not to legalize a sexual union, but rather to ensure the survival of the species and of the race. From this point of view, marriage is not merely' a sexual relationship, but a parental association. It is the union of a male and female for the production and care of offspring, and reproduction is therefore another fundamental object of marriage."

The economic factor also plays a vital role in the determination of marriage relationship. Economic stability creates marriage ability Then there is a need for emotional integration for compatibility. The basis of all adjustment lies in the neurotic personality. Neither husband nor wife should have exaggerated attachment to something in the outside world. If the husband is a habitual drunkard like Emperor Jehangir, he may prefer a bottle of wine to a woman, if he reaches the brink of only one alternative. That is how Emperor Jehangir handed over the reins of empire to his beloved Nur Jahan and stuck to his cup of wine. Nur Jahan wisely ruled in the name of her drunkard husband and even got her name engraved on the coins.

Hindu Scientific Approach

Although Hindus did not know (Did. they really not?) much about the modern sciences, their approach to many problems of life was highly scientific. Marriage was one much problem. Thus write Drs. Stone:

"Lack of sufficient potency on the part of the man) however, is a much more frequent condition, and one suffering from this disorder may be unable to consummate the physical union in marriage. It is a serious mistake for anyone who is sexually inadequate to marry without first having his disability corrected, or at least without receiving competent medical advice. As a matter of fact, Hindu law-givers decreed over a thousand years ago that before marriage, 'a man must undergo an examination with regard to his virility.' Only after the fact of his virility had been established beyond doubt was' he privileged to marry. "

According to Kinsey. sexual activity begins in adolescence. A man is well fairly aware of his sexual adequacy. But this is not always correct. If you do not question your sexual potency. you may experience unexpected difficulties after marriage.

Potency And Fertility

Potency-that is, the ability to have sex relations-is not the same as fertility, which is the ability to reproduce. A man may be highly potent. ed1d yet not be fertile, or he may be very fertile and not be sexually potent."

The husband should be fit for reproduction. He should have the, ability to beget healthy children. . He should be free from any disease or disability. Man's fresh seminal fluid should be microscopically examined to determine his fertility. In case of a congenital abnormality, he should rather not marry. Similarly, female fertility can be investigated. But the combined fertility of a husband and wife cannot be determined by the existing method and machines of modern science.

Blood That Kills The Baby

Rhesus monkey and men have some similarity of blood. It is known as the "Rh factor:' It has been discovered that 85 per cent of white people carry Rh factor in their blood. They arc "Rh positive". The other 15 percent of white people lack this blood and are "Rh negative."

"When an Rh positive man marries an Rh negative woman, which IS approximately thirteen out of a hundred white marriages, the 9tTspring of such a couple may. in some cases, develop at birth or shortly thereafter a serious condition known as erythroblastosis, which is characterized mainly by anemia, jaundice, and swelling of the body. This condition may occasional1y even cause the baby's death before birth. Recent figures indicate, however, that of an infants born only one out of one hundred and fifty to two hundred develops erythroblastosis and newer methods of blood transfusion immediately after birth have now made it possible to save the lives of a large number of affected infants."

The Mechanism of Heredity

Each child inherits two sets of genes - one from the father and one from the mother. The characteristics of a child depend upon these genes and their combinations. If a child inherits a gene for brown eyes both from .the father and the mother, his eyes will be brown. He will transmit to his children only genes for brown eyes. If he inherits a gene for brown eyes from his father and blue eyes from his mother, his eyes will be brown, because brown dominates the blue, but there will be genes for blue eyes in his blood and he will be able to pass them on to his children who may }eve blue eyes even if both of their parents have brown eyes. This is how children may have quite different characteristics from their parents. These qualities or defects may have been inherited from their grandparents. These have become potential after lying dormant for a generation. Thus both parents and grandparents should be studied for the logical explanation of characteristics in children.

Environment And Heredity

"Today the belief is becoming general that heredity and environment constantly interact, and that the two can never be separated since environmental differences start even before birth. The noted biologist. Jennings, in his book, The Biological Basis of Human Nature, ably analyses the relative in influence of environment and heredity, and concludes that intelligence, behaviour, temperament and disposition\can be modified by either of these. Even identical twins with exactly the same heredity, for instance; will, if placed in different environments, show some variations in mental development. personality and character. In other words, marked differences between individuals can be produced by varying either the heredity or the environment.

"The relation of heredity to environment is perhaps most simply expressed as the relation of the seed to the soil, a comparison which has frequently been made. The seed has potentialities to develop into a certain type of plant, but whether these potentialities will be realized will depend to a 'very large degree upon the kind of soil into which it is planted; in poor soil it will be stunted, in good soil it will develop to its fullest capacities. On the other hand, no matter how good the soil, it can only bring out the qualities which were already present in the seed at the time it was sown. Nature and nurture constantly interact and they are perhaps equally important in determining the character of an individual."

Venereal Diseases

There arc two important venereal diseases - gonorrhoea and syphilis. Gonorrhoea is a local infection of the sex and the urinary organ. It rarely enters the blood Stream and spreads to other parts of the body. At any rate, it is not transmitted to the children as an inherited influence.

''A new-born child may develop gonorrhoea, but not because the disease is inherited. The child contracts it by being infected with the germs-at the time of its birth; if the gonorrhoea germs are present in the birth-canal of the mother, the infant may become infected during its passage through the canal. Usually the germs lodge in the eye of the infant and produce- a very serious inflammation which may result in blindness. That is the reason why the eyes of a baby are treated by a doctor soon after its birth with an antiseptic solution as a routine measure. This application has proved to be an effective prophylactic against the transmission of the disease to the newborn, and has greatly reduced the amount of infant blindness."

Syphilis is not a local disease but a generalizcd infection. It starts as a local sore on the genitals or other parts of the body. Then the germs enter the blood stream and the infection is carried through the entire system. They may lodge in any organ and produce serious consequences. Sometimes the germs lie dormant for years and then wake up into serious results.

If not adequately treated. the disease may be transmitted to the offspring, although it is really not hereditary. What happens is that during the early months of pregnancy the germs pails from the mother to the developing child and infect it with disease. The embrvo may either die early as a result of the infection. or it may continue to live for several months and die just before birth. the pregnancy ending in miscarriage or stillbirth; or. if the fetus is strong enough to survive the initial attack, the infant will be born with the infection present in its body. In other words, syphilis in the new born is a congenital rather than a hereditary disease."

Both syphilis and gonorrhoea can be cured by the use of sulfa drugs and penicillin. Gonorrhoea can be completely cured in a week. Syphilis is rather difficult to cure. It may take months of active and intensive treatment to rid the blood of this deadly infection. The sooner the treatment is begun, the better the chances of an early cure.

Evils of Inter-Breeding

Marriages between near relatives should be avoided. The reason is, since the parents will have the same characteristics, the qualities will be strengthened, no doubt, but tl1e defects will not be remedied. If both are intellectual but deaf, the children will be deaf intellectuals. Defects are transmitted more quickly than the qualities. When an actress proposed to Bernard Shaw for marriage, saying, "The child will have my beauty and your brain," Shaw was right in replying, "The child may have your brain and my beauty." In other words, the child may well be an ugly idiot.

Researches on Sex

There is no relation between the size of the penis and sexual capacity. Many men are sexually very active despite a small-sized organ. On the other hand, many men with large penile dimensions have a low degree of potency.

A man with undescended testicles of both bides is very apt to be sterile. Such men are quite normal otherwise, physically and sexual1y, If one testicle is descended, the man can produce children.

"The testes do not change in size, but the scrotum, or the pouch in which they lie, is subject to expansions and contractions. In warm weather, for instance, or after a hot bath. the scrotum becomes relaxed and the testicles are lower; in cold weather, the muscles of the scrotum contract and bring the testes higher up nearer to the body, so that it may seem as if the glands have actually grown smaller in size. The object of this mechanism is to maintain the testes in the most suitable temperature, for they are very sensitive to heat and cold and require protection from environmental changes."

Circumcision consists of the removal of the foreskin which covers the greater part of the penis. The operation, common among Muslims and Jews, is quite unnecessary. There is no difference in the degree of sexual desire or sexual capacity between the circumcised and the uncircumcised.

Hormone is a ,chemical substance produced by certain glands and carried by the blood to various organs of the body. The differences between a man and a woman are controlled largely by their sex hormones. If the testes are removed at birth, the boy will not develop the features and traits of his sex. Castrated animals fatten faster and lose their sexual desire and drive.

Eugcn Steinach removed the sex glands from female animals and substituted for them the testes of a male. He reported that the females became masculinized. The American surgeon, Lydston, in 1914, obtained the testicle of a man who had committed suicide and transplanted it into his own scrotum. He claimed that the operation benefited him greatly. It improved his health and increased his vigour. Voronoff transplanted testes of simian monkeys into men and gave a glowing picture of the results, turning old people into youth again. Brown-Sequad in 1889 injected himself with extracts from the testicles of a dog and claimed that his general health and his mental activity were amazingly stimulated.

A medicine known 3S "testosterone" is male hormone synthetically produced from various chemical substances. It Is given either by injection or by mouth. In female animals it is apt to produce changes typical of the male. Also, it cures men of sexual deficiencies.

"The process of aging. however, involves not merely the genital system but the entire organism and it is questionable whether the injection of any hormones can arrest or reverse these general systematic changes. Men and women are subject to so many psychic and emotional influences that it is often very difficult to evaluate the results of therapeutic measures."

Frank Female Formulas

The rote of the female in reproduction is very much more complicated than of the male. It is in her body that the fertilized egg nests and develops into its mature form. Her sex organs are diversified and playa great role in her general biological activities.

"Under ordinary circumstances only one egg is released every twenty-eight days, and the number of eggs which may develop during a year would be only about twelve or thirteen. As a woman's reproductive life lasts approximately thirty years, the total number of matured eggs would range between three and four hundred. This is in marked contrast to the male, whose every ejaculation contains millions of sperms.

Menstruation occurs about fourteen to sixteen days after the creation of the life-eggs in the women.

The egg cell is spheroidal or rounded in shape. It has no power of locomotion. It is stationary and passive. It is about 1/2000th of an inch in diameter, and just visible to the naked eye. The outside is surrounded by a jellylike shell. The inside is filled with a large number of minute fat droplets. It is quite analogous to a bird's egg.

If the egg is not fertilized, it is broken down and comes with menstruation. The average 4uantity of blood lost during the days of the flow is about two to four ounces, or approximately half a cupful. It comes out in irregular spurts squeezed by the contractions of the uterine muscles.

There seems to be no sufficient reason for the restrictions put upon the use of water and cleansing during the menses. On the contrary cleanliness is particularly indicated at this time. It is advisable. in fact, to bathe and cleanse the external genitals thoroughly several times in a day during the menstrual period. Nor is there any objection to tub bathing provided the water is kept at a comfortable temperature Extremes of heat and cold are inadvisable,"